Jay Pritchett Quotes
Jay: Just keep hitting all those buttons until something good happens, that's my plan anyway.
Son of a bitch you're an embarrassment! You're kicking up more sand than a sea turtle laying eggs.
First rule of golf, shhh.
Claire: You have an in law who no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, you can't win over.
Jay: What about it?
Claire: Oh that doesn't sound familiar?
Jay:You're not saying.
Claire: Mmhmm, yeah I am.
Jay: Son of a bitch, I'm Phil!
Nobody doesn't like me. I'm Jay. I'm salt of the earth.
What's one more son in a dress?
Fulgencio Umberto, the initials are F U Pritchitt which is exactly the way it feels right now
That's the whole point of a surprise party, you take somebody you really love and you play em like a fool.
Papa would buy ten diamond rings to get that mockingbird to shut up.
For God's sake change out of those wingtips. You're a kid, not Nixon on the beach!
If you had a husband who liked picking out strollers you wouldn't be having a baby.
Jay: You're wearing a $10K watch and you haggling over 15 cents?
Guy: You live in this place and you can't let that 15 cents go?
Jay: Fine 35.
Guy: Can you break a 50?
Jay: Get out.