Jeff Winger Quotes
Shirley: I'm simply a Christian woman that doesn't open her bag.
Jeff: What did the Christian woman think would happen when we got to her bag?
Shirley: The Christian woman thought you'd find it on the Muslim.
Shirley: Jeff, you don't have a bag?
Jeff: I could never deprive the world of the portion of my chest the strap would cover.
Jeff: Kristi Yamaguchi?
Chang: Peggy Flemming. You're racist! Just been proven racist by the racist prover.
I'm wearing a $6,000 suit, and you spent three days making cardboard box robot armor.
Jeff: I'm Pierce Hawthorne's emergency contact.
Woman: So, you're here to pick him up?
Jeff: I'm here to be removed as his emergency contact.
If NASA ever needs someone to keep an arrow inside of a moving rectangle, I know who I'd recommend.
Pierce. You're talking to an Atari cartridge. Sit down.
Can we just take a mental step backwards and realize we're simply in a Winnebago?
Wow. You guys are real downers. I can't believe I made out with both of you.
If you guys just let me get to the can opener, I can feed you.
Britta, you're not a whore. Shirley, Jesus turned the other cheek. He didn't garnish wages. Pierce, do I even need to say this? It is bad to hunt man for sport.
Narced? Hm. But he's like way too primo for that, Frank Zappa.
