Favorite Jess Day Quotes
Jess: Where are your nipples, man?
Schmidt: I'll never tell!
I feel like I wanna murder someone and also I want soft pretzels.
If any of you cross me, I'm gonna kick the testicles clean off your bodies! Clean off! You'll look like Ken dolls down there!
Jess: Do you want to know what I'm wearing under this shirt?
Nick: Yeah, sure.
Jess: An invisible shirt.
You question my pajamas? You make me question our entire friendship!
I know I'm gullible because a lot of people tell me that and I have no reason not to believe them.
Jess: Nick kissed me?
I just wanted to listen to Taylor Swift alone!
If somebody walked in here and saw us, they'd be like, "Look at these two totally normal roommates. I bet they never sucked face." But we did. You sucked my face.
Sam: Hi - are you Katie? I'm Sam from CupidMatch.
Jess: And I'm the girl from my dreams of you.
Winston: The phone?
Jess: I don't know...looks like a meth-head sandwich to me!
I don't know the words!