New Girl
Tuesdays 8:30 PM on FOXFavorite Jess Day Quotes
Jess: I had the best sex of my life last night.
Nick: Oh so that was you? I thought it was a couple bums fighting.
Jess: It wasn't. It was me. Having sex. I left my body, went up to heaven, saw my grandparents, thought it was weird that I saw my grandparents, came back down. I became a werewolf, I scared some teenagers. I came back into my body. Only thing is, he thinks my name is Katie and that I'm a dancer and/or something involving puppets.
I can't let you fluff me. I can't let you work in emotional porn! You have too much to offer.
Winston: The phone?
Jess: I don't know...looks like a meth-head sandwich to me!
Jess: The only anti-depressant you need is in my pants!
Guy: It's really a medical issue.
Nick: In March, I will have been living with Schmidt for 10 years. I know that because he sent me an e-mail asking how I want to celebrate our tin anniversary.
Jess: How did you become friends? Was it an accident? Did you hit him with your car and you became his reluctant caretaker?
I'm big in Japan — they call me Gigglebangs Riceball.
You're dating a stripper, I'm dating a tall handsome doctor. We're kinda living the dream.
Jess: What's the secret?
Sadie: It's about love, understanding and two sets of boobs!
He's talking to a woman with a sexuality I won't jump to conclusions about.
I am throwing Cece's surprise bachelorette party here tonight, and the only males invited are strippers, so oil up or get out, guys.
Jess: You're too late. I'm in love. With Winston.
Winston: You know, it just got stuck up there so far, so quickly.
Do you have like a box of charity phones you're sending to Africa? Can he just have one of those?
