Favorite Jim Halpert Quotes
Jim: All right, I'm taking off.
Michael: Booty call.
Jim: Nope, just going to see Pam.
Michael: Here.
Jim: Maybe put up some shelves.
Michael: Wait a second. [removes condom from wallet, throws it to Jim] I don't want you to end up with a surprise pregnancy like me.
Jim: OK, thank you for ... this.
Michael: You want more?
Jim: No.
Dwight: What's this on my desk?
Jim: It's a box.
Dwight: But who left it here... and to what purpose?
Meredith: I'll go. Have you guys ever met Bruce Myers? The Scranton rep for Hammermill?
Michael: BRRRRUUUCCCEEEE.
Meredith: Well, for the past six years I have been sleeping with him in exchange for discounts on our supplies and Outback Steakhouse gift certificates.
Jim: Jackpot.
Jim: So what's your strategy for this race?
Pam: Well I'm gonna start fast.
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Pam: Then I'm gonna run fast in the middle.
Jim: What?
Pam: Then I'm gonna end fast.
Jim: Why won't more people do that?
Pam: Cause they're just stupid.
Angela: Are you swallowing them whole? You're eating them so fast, are they even touching your tongue?
Kevin: Yes.
Dwight: Brownies is it? Hm. Pastry cubes made of sugar and fat? No thank you, I'll stick with my jerky.
Jim: So why did you come in here?
Dwight: To socialize. And inform.
Jim: Hey, Ryan?
Ryan: What?
Jim: You wanna pull a prank on Andy?
Ryan: Not right now, but ask me again 10 years ago.
Jim: I liked you better when you were the temp.
Ryan: Yeah, me too.
Dwight: It's a terrible idea.
Jim: What is?
Dwight: Them in there all together. They stay in there too long, they're gonna get on the same cycle. Wreak havoc on our plumbing.
Pam: Hey.
Jim: Hey.
Pam: Ugh.
Jim: Ugh.
Pam: Everything okay?
Jim: Oh yeah. Why?
Pam: Well you seem a little tired.
Jim: Oh. Yeah well, I guess there's been a couple late nights. Karen and I have been up talking.
Pam: You should get more sleep.
Jim: Yeah, I know I should.
Pam: Never underestimate the power of a good night's sleep.
Jim: No, I'm sure you're right.
Pam: When I get eight hours, compared to like six hours, like, big difference.
Jim: Really?
Pam: Oh yeah. Gotta get your REM cycle going with the whole sleeping. Better than not.
Jim: Good advice Beesley. Thanks. See you out there.
Pam: Yeah. Don't fall asleep at your desk.
Jim: What do you think of Kelly?
Ryan: I don't know. It depends if you like a little junk in the... [sees camera] She's really cool.
Dwight: Count Choculitus.
Jim: Sounds tough.
Dwight: Why did you write that down Jim? Is it because you know I love Count Chocula?
Jim: Do you?
I miss Dwight. Congratulations, universe. You win.
Jim: Could you guys all do me a favor and not talk about this until I tell Pam?
Andy: Whoa, you haven't told the misses about the castle? You're in for a spanking my friend. Myself and my lady? - no secrets.
Phyllis: Jim, don't listen to Andy. I think it's so romantic.
Jim: Oh thanks, Phyllis.
Phyllis: Where's your place?
Jim: Oh, it's on uh Linden Ave? By the quarry?
Phyllis: Oh.
Creed: Cool beans, man, I live by the quarry. We should hang out by the quarry and throw things down there.
Jim: Definitely we should.
