Popular Jim Halpert Quotes
Dwight: It's a terrible idea.
Jim: What is?
Dwight: Them in there all together. They stay in there too long, they're gonna get on the same cycle. Wreak havoc on our plumbing.
Kevin: I bet Roy heard about you liking Pam. I bet he'll try to beat you up.
Jim: Thanks for the heads up, Kev.
Kevin: I got your back if he does. [pauses] But try to stay out of it.
Roy: I'm glad she has a friend at work that she can get through the day with. That way she's not all, "blah blah blah" when she gets home.
Jim: Yeah, I like talking to her too.
You gotta take a chance on something sometime, Pam.
Jim
Dwight: What's this on my desk?
Jim: It's a box.
Dwight: But who left it here... and to what purpose?
Jim: What's up Kelly?
Kelly: Nothing, except Oh! Last night Ryan and I finally hooked up!
Jim: Dwight, if you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?
Dwight: I CAN travel anywhere, except Cuba, and I WILL travel to New Zealand and walk the Lord of the Rings trail to Mordor and I will hike Mount Doom.
Dwight, The key to being a good public speaker is waving your arms in the air and pounding your fists on the table. A lot.
Jim
Jim: [re: Dwight's award] It is literally the highest possible honor that a northeastern Pennsylvania-based mid-size paper company regional salesman can attain.
Pam: We got Kevin 69 Cup-of-Noodles.
Jim: Which we realize sounds crass, but it is his favorite number.
Pam: And his favorite lunch.
Oscar: So, Pam told me you do a great Stanley impression. I'd love to hear it.
Jim: Oh, um. "Why do you keep CCing me on things that have nothing to do with me?"
Stanley: Is that supposed to be me?
Jim: Oh, hey, Stanley. Uh, I was just doing an impression.
Stanley: I do not think that is funny.
Pam: He does everyone in the office.
Stanley: Hmph. [leaves]
Jim and Pam: "I do not think that is funny."
My job is to speak to clients, um, on the phone about, uh, quantities and, uh, type of copier paper. You know, uh, whether we can supply it to them, whether they can, uh, pay for it. And, um... I'm boring myself just talking about this.
