Jordan Sullivan Quotes
Dr. Cox: Mmmmgh! Norris hasn't budged, and he just moved the appointment back to six, the rat-bastard!
Jordan: Watch your language in front of the kid, you stupid bicky-bicky!... You see, I am adapting. You, on the other hand, are behaving like a complete lunatic.
Jordan: Carla?
Carla: Hm?
Jordan: You're one of them bossy-pants types who always tells people their problems whether they ask for it or not, right?
Carla: I like to think I've learned when to hold back.
Jordan: You're in.
Carla: You've totally lost sight of what's important, here. You are a parent now, okay? You don't come first anymore-
Jordan: No.
Carla: You've got to do what's best for your son, even if it means sucking up to the one doctor on earth who's more obnoxious than you are.
Jordan: Well...
Carla: Oh, my God. I loved doing that so much, it makes my hand shake a little!
Dr. Cox: This time, try not to scare off the doctor.
Jordan: I did not scare off the last guy!
Dr. Cox: You bit him.
Jordan: I tripped and my teeth hit his shoulder.
Dr. Cox: Uh-huh. And once that happened, did you clamp down a little bit? Jordan!
Jordan: Well-
Dr. Cox: Oh, you come on!
Jordan: Well, he had a bad attitude!
Dr. Norris: Zachary, remember what Mr. Cookiepants always says about blowing your nose: "If it's clear, have no fear; if it's bloody, come see your buddy!" What do you want?
Jordan: Well, we're looking for a new pediatrician for our son...
Dr. Norris: And you figured that, even though my patient load is full, since you're on the board of directors and Dr. Cox here is not only an attending at the hospital but also an internationally renowned pain-in-the-ass, you both could show complete disregard for my schedule and make me want to cause you grievous bodily harm even before we were properly introduced...? Helloooo. I'm Dr. Norris.
Jordan: Charmed.
Jordan: Don't you love the outfit?
Dr. Cox: You know, I always wanted to be the father of a tiny gay sailor. Jordan, come on, we agreed that we would wait until he's quite a bit older before we started systematically ruining his life, right?... Right?
Jordan: I may have painted his toenails for funsies.
J.D.: Dr. Cox, I managed to get some tests done on Mrs. Farr...
Dr. Cox: Look, Gwyneth, you're old enough now to hear this from me: Every time I go out of my way to help you children, I get nothing but trouble. Now this is the first five minute window I've had in the last week to be with my son. And I'm just not gonna have you pirouetting around in here while my heart is breaking inside.
J.D.: Sorry.
Jordan: Your heart is breaking inside? That is so embarrassing for you!
Dr. Cox: Thank you for that.
Dr. Cox: Good morning angels. What'd you have? One-too-many daiquiris last night?
J.D.: Spence, this is Doctor Cox and...
Jordan: Don't bother, don't care.
Spencer: Oh oh yeah, right he's the scary man you told me about last night. Hey, congratulations.
Dr. Cox: For what, jackass?
Spencer: You just had a baby.
J.D.: No, no, no, she just had a baby.
Spencer: Yeah but you said it was his. And you said something else...
Turk: That he didn't know it yet.
Jordan: Okay, I didn't tell you that the kid was yours and you're upset - I get it! But you seem to be making a really big deal out of this. Is there something else that's bothering you?
Dr. Cox: It's mostly just the kid thing.
Jordan: I told you, I didn't want you to feel pressured to be with me. I didn't want you to feel manipulated.
J.D.: Look Doctor Cox...
Dr. Cox: No you look! If someone had asked me, just this morning is there anyway that I could have less respect for you two geniuses I would have said no, no that's not possibile. But low-and-behold you went and pulled it off. Congratulations. The only problem is I'm fresh outta blue ribbons so instead you're gonna have to settle for a lifetime supply of my foot up your ass. Now go home, you're not fit to work tonight.
Jordan: Great speech. You guys are in trouble!
Dr. Cox: Why are you doing this?
Jordan: I'll tell you why I'm doing this, Perry. Because we've been dancing the same annoying dance for years now! One of us gets angry and walks away, and the other person's too stubborn to go after them. Before you know it, you're sleeping with some toothpick-size pharmaceutical rep, and I'm trying to convince my mom that the thing in my suitcase is a giant electric melon-baller! Well guess what? Things are different now - we have a kid together. I'm not going home until you promise that you're coming home with me.
Dr. Cox: You go home. I'll meet you there later.
Jordan: Bring dinner.
Jordan: At least when Gustav promises me an hour of pleasure he's not standing in the shower five minutes later thinking he rocked my world.
Dr. Cox: So not Gustav! Busy doctor!
Jordan: I can't believe you're bitching 'cause I asked you to look after him for an hour three days a week! Do you know how badly I need a massage?
Dr. Cox: What's the matter? Are you getting all sore around that hump above your butt where your tail used to be?
