Jordan Sullivan Quotes
Dr. Cox: And, Jordan, I am not gonna leave your side until that baby is delivered.
Jordan: Get the hell out of here.
Dr. Cox: What?
Jordan: I'm serious. Why don't you do us both a favor and get out.
Jordan: I don't know that many straight guys that wear cologne.
J.D.: I'm down to one spritz.
Jordan: Hmm.
J.D.: Look, Dr. Cox asked me to check in on you; I'm sorry I haven't been here until now.
Jordan: He asked you to... check in on me?
J.D.: Yep. So...? How ya doin'?
Jordan: Well, I have ruined everything! All he tried to do was take care of me and show me that he loved me. But, no, I had to drive him away because I don't like being vulnerable even when I'm normal, let alone with my ankles in stirrups and my coochie on display. So, now he's gone away for good; and I would really like to get this stupid thing out of me so I can go home and kill myself!
J.D.: Well, you sound good.
Jordan: I was going to tell him the truth eventually, I just wanted to see if he was going to be with me because he wanted to, not because he had to. Do you know what I mean?
J.D.: What are you talking about?
Jordan: It's his baby, stupid! Don't tell anyone
Dr. Cox: No, honey, the reason we're late is that you took forever to get ready. That's what happens when you're vain!
Jordan: Whatever you say, Mr. Yesterday I Had Chest-hair, Today I Suddenly Don't.
Jordan: Tell you what, we'll compromise. I'll decide this, and you get to decide...um... Sorry, I got nothing.
Dr. Gerson: Look, it's common for each parent to feel differently.
Dr. Cox: Actually, I am not the father; he's a bell-boy in Greece.
Jordan: We think.
Elliot: Look, I really think that you should think about this. So, I wrote it down, and I put it in an envelope, and then I gave it to... her.
Jordan: Hi, Honey.
Dr. Cox: Oh, you are just so gonna pay for this.
Elliot: Yeah... well, uh, so are you.
Jordan: Bend over, baby.
Jordan: We are a horrible couple.
Dr. Cox: You couldn't be more wrong. Because, even though that isn't my kid in there, I still want to feel connected. And I just thought I'd be more hooked in if I knew.
Jordan: It's funny. Every time I think you're the same old sharp-edged jack-ass, you turn around and do something to remind me that you're such a pansy.
Dr. Cox: You know, Jordan, I have to tell you - despite how crazy-hormonal you are, there is something about a pregnant woman that's almost spiritual.
Jordan: Really?
Dr. Cox: Honestly you-you have never looked so beautiful.
Jordan: It's the giant boobs, isn't it?
Dr. Cox: Well, have you seen them lately?
Jordan: Yes. Relax.
J.D.: I've seen bigger.
Laverne shoots him a look.
J.D.: No, not you. Although, kudos!
Jordan: You know what I hate?
Dr. Cox: So many things...
Jordan: That's true. I stay at your house almost every night, and even though I feel like crap in the morning, I've gotta drive all the way back to my apartment to get ready and then drive all the way back here to go to board meetings.
Dr. Cox: Well, then, why don't you just leave your boobs and some other stuff at my place?
Listen, Perry, shockingly, I'm not really looking to make the permanent move to your little bachelor cave over there at Swingers Towers. What happened is, is you made a kind gesture, and I made the mistake of thinking you could follow actually through with it.
Honey I know your type. It is so easy to see other people's problems from way up there on your pedestal, but you better be careful up there because if you fall off and have to walk around down here with the rest of us, I don't know you might catch a glimpse of yourself in a mirror or the surface of a pond, your boyfriends gigantic shiney head and trust me, you're not gonna like what you see
