Jordan Sullivan Quotes
Woman: What a sweet little angel! Can I just give him a little squeeze?
Jordan: Of course.
Dr. Cox: Back off there, lady. How's about you save up all that energy for the cruise? Go on get out of here. Hippity hop to the barbershop. Come on, Mom. Jordan, this hospital is literally crawling with germs and disease and in all fairness, you don't know if that lady is a sickie or if she was here visiting a sickie and she ran her sickie hands all over her sickie face.
Jordan: What's the matter with me? I mean, I don't think twice about people holding him, and yet I obsess about things like broken arms, broken legs, choking, kidnapping, drowning, silly putty, bad babysitters, pretty babysitters...
Dr. Cox: Yeah, I pretty much freak out over staph infections, blood disease, mumps, measles, sex, drugs, rock and roll, and definitely all registered independents. So I think between us we've got everything covered.
Jordan: Was this taken at my mother's house?
Janitor: I gotta go.
Ron: Will you be joining us for dinner?
Jordan: No way. Every time we go out, the whole night turns into a giant pissing contest.
Dr. Cox: All right, Jack, listen to me. Ron's in the bathroom diapering his kid. When he gets out, it's playtime. And, son, lately your coloring's been sloppy and your Elmo song - well, unfortunately, it's lacked heart. Now you and I, we both know that your super-secret go-to toy are your building blocks. Well, it's time to shine, Jackie Cox. It is time to shine. Earn daddy's love on three. One, two, three - earn daddy's love!
Ron: 27-second diaper change.
Dr. Cox: I can change a diaper in twenty seconds.
Jordan: Oh, my God!
Jordan: You know, this whole competition thing that you have happening with your high school buddy, it is very, very boring. You know, like you were the homecoming king, he was the prom king. You went to medical school, he went to business school. You got divorced, he got divorced.
Dr. Cox: Yeah, but he never has to see his wife anymore, so technically he's got me beat on that one.
Perry, if I'm gonna be spending a lot of time with someone else's child, it's gonna be with our neighbor's 17-year-old. And don't think he hasn't asked. Oh...Pablo. Mm.
Ah, the intern car wash. Are you saving up so you can finally get those pec implants replaced?
Dr. Cox: Look, I am not going to let this weekend become about who's a bigger man. Ron's bringing his kid - I can't wait to meet the child. And when he pulls in here in his crappy rent-a-car and he gets one look at my hand-polished Porsche, well, naturally, I'll have the lead.
Jordan: Very exciting.
A helicopter descends in the parking lot and Ron climbs down
Ron: Hoo-hoo! Hey. Hey, guys. Oh, I know the chopper seems like a bit much, but, uh, there was crazy traffic, so I'm having my assistant drive my rental car over from the airport - ah!
A sports car pulls up and honks.
Ron: Well, it hardly seems worth it now, but what the hell?
Dr. Cox: Ron's kid doesn't make eye contact, he barely speaks, and he freaked out when you tried to cuddle him. I mean, hell, if he was an adult, he'd be, well...you know...me. But those behaviors in a child could point towards Autism. I think it's pretty obvious what we have to do.
Jordan: Grit our teeth, get through the weekend, never speak to Ron again?
Dr. Cox: Exactly.
Elliot: I cannot believe what I just heard!
Dr. Cox: The tick-tocking of your biological clock leading you towards the corner of Celibate and Spinster Way?
Jordan: Sometimes it's great to already have a bastard child.
Dr. Cox: You said it.
Elliot: You know, it is our obligation as doctors to tell someone when there is a problem. And I will bring a child into this world when I am good and ready, not when society dictates I must.
Dr. Cox: Hold your horses. Just tell me who the last person hired was, would you please?
Kenny: Looks like you folks could use a little refresher! Serving people like you who save lives every day, makes me happier than a kitten chasing a leaky cow! God bless ya! God bless ya.
Dr. Cox: I have to fire Opie, don't I?
Jordan: You think?
Dr. Cox: Let's take a look at our other options. Gandhi? You appear to be a man that is utterly without talent. Unless, of course, you wanna count the fact that you are the twentieth-best basketball player in a predominately white hospital? Jordan, your only skill is illegal in twenty-six states.
Jordan: It's twenty-seven. Arkansas buckled.
Dr. Cox: Carla, that makes you my girl. Hell, we could crank up the humidity and watch your hair explode, that'd be terrific.
