Jordan Sullivan Quotes
Jordan: Perry, if you don't do what she says, I'll stop having sex with you and start making love to you.
Dr. Cox: Where is that bastard?! KELSO!
Dr. Cox: Hold your horses. Just tell me who the last person hired was, would you please?
Kenny: Looks like you folks could use a little refresher! Serving people like you who save lives every day, makes me happier than a kitten chasing a leaky cow! God bless ya! God bless ya.
Dr. Cox: I have to fire Opie, don't I?
Jordan: You think?
Dr. Cox: Let's take a look at our other options. Gandhi? You appear to be a man that is utterly without talent. Unless, of course, you wanna count the fact that you are the twentieth-best basketball player in a predominately white hospital? Jordan, your only skill is illegal in twenty-six states.
Jordan: It's twenty-seven. Arkansas buckled.
Dr. Cox: Carla, that makes you my girl. Hell, we could crank up the humidity and watch your hair explode, that'd be terrific.
Dr. Cox: Why? Why am I having such a hard time with this?
Jordan: Because apparently you have girl parts!
Dr. Cox: You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
Jordan: Yeah! That-that-ohhhh! That we invite Muscles, here, to hang a banner in our bedroom that says "It takes three to party"?
Dr. Cox: She's your nightmare sister. You take her out to dinner.
Jordan: I spent the whole day with her. She stole a sweater!
Danni: So what? You're the one wearing it. Now let's go eat. I've had nothing all day except vodka and olives.
Jordan: And why are you limping?
Dr. Cox: Fishing? I'm limping from fishing.
Dr. Kelso: I know that limp.
Dr. Cox: No, Bob. Bob, no.
Dr. Kelso: You just got a vasectomy! I had mine done back in '68. Ironically, that was the same year that Enid discovered pasta and I discovered I'm not attracted to enormous women.
Dr. Cox: I didn't just get a vasectomy.
Dr. Kelso: Come on, soldier! If I have to force you to drop your pants, I will! So, tell Bobbo, was it a hard decision for the two of you to make?
Dr. Cox: Yeah, we... we really... struggled... with it.
Dr. Kelso: I don't really care.
Dr. Cox: What, uh, what did you do around the apartment while I was gone?
Jordan: Oh! I turned your little office into my pajama closet, I threw out everything in the 'frigerator that had the word "jerky" or "whiz" on it, I got rid of all your clothes that make you look like you're twenty years old - don't worry, I saved your hockey jerseys. Although I did move them into my new... pajama closet! And for some reason none of the remotes work anymore.
Jordan: What kind of guy writes love songs?
Dr. Cox: Guys whose mothers make them go to ballet class.
Jordan: Fair enough.
Dr. Cox: Jordan, let me talk for a second. I've been trained for many years to take any emotion I feel, push it down, and then let it out by drinking way too much and by yelling at the football players on my T.V. screen. And I... I really thought I hit the jackpot when I finally met a woman who was as disturbed and closed-off as I am.
Jordan: Thank you.
Dr. Cox: You're welcome. Still, now I want more. I-I really do. I want to talk about things. Not-not everything. Not everything. I definitely, definitely don't want to talk about everything. For instance I don't need to know when you beat up a woman in the park because her purse is the same color as yours; but things that matter, things that are important to us as a-as a family. And I know... I know that there are guys who bring flowers and that there are guys who write love songs. But, Jordan, I'm a guy sitting in front of you here with a twice operated-on penis that says "I want to be a couple that communicates more openly."
Dr. Cox: All righty, let's go for the hat-trick, there, doc.
Doctor: Are you sure?
Jordan: Hey, doc! Zip it, grip it, and snip it!
Jordan: What the hell happened to you?
Dr. Cox: I got them to reverse the vasectomy.
Jordan: What an incredibly normal thing to do!
