Cougar Town
Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBSFavorite Jules Cobb Quotes
Ellie: You know how I take a nap every day from 10 to 11:45?
Jules: Your life is better than mine
All the single guys our age are either broken, gay or chasing younger girls
Jules: I'm actually feeling a little guilty. Last night you left your purse here and when the pizza man came i was two dollars short, so I took it from you.
Ellie: Two bucks? Big deal.
Jules: I also took a pack of gum, lipstick, and 28 other dollars. I was going out to get wine.
Ellie: You stole from me to support a drinking habit? I am so proud of you.
Jules: Wow, it' my first very golf cart ride of shame.
Bobby: It's not that bad, just pretend like you're coming home from a ball or something.
Jules: Yeah, I'm Cinderella.
I haven't drank out of a red plastic cup since my wedding reception
Drinking out of a third place trophy makes you feel like a winner.
Bobby: I'm going through stuff too. They're repaving the parking lot where I keep my boat so I'm going to have to move. It's time like this I wish I had my own parking lot.
Jules: Really? That's what you wish for?
You think my butt looks like it could be your roommate's? We need to hug, wow
Jules: You never go all out for a guy?
Laurie: If I really like a guy I'll stop texting while I do him
Ellie: I wish you were my daughter
Jules: Not that I would date two guys at the same time anyways, because in grade school this nun told me if I kissed two boys in one day their spit would mix in my mouth and it would kill me.
Ellie: Religion is fantastic.
Jeff: The stay at home and drink date? Always dangerous. Alcohol makes it hard for you to filter yourself.
Jules: You'd make a pretty girl.
Jeff: And we're off.
Jules: Seriously, I have a skirt that's a little too big for me and God knows you have the legs. All we have to do is shave you down and then tuck some stuff back.
Jeff: No tucking.
Ellie [about Josh]: He kisses with a perfect seal around you mouth like he's trying to suck your brains out
Jules: I know, but he's gotten so much better
Ellie: That's better?
Josh: I'm gonna get us some more drinks
