The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXKent Brockman Quotes
Lisa Simpson is no longer Little Miss Springfield. She was stripped of her crown in a ceremony earlier today (footage of a goat being bottle fed plays) Well, that's obviously the wrong footage. Uh, but it does seem the father of the deposed beauty queen Homer Simpson filled out the pageant application incorrectly. In the area under 'do not write under this space' he wrote 'okay'.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I have been to Vietnam, Iraq and Afghanistan, and I can say without hyperbole that this is a million times worse than all of them put together. A group of school-aged Spartacuses have taken the camp by force. Three counsellors are missing, and presumed scared.
</i> Kent Brockman
Good evening. Did you know that 34 million American adults are obese? Putting together that excess blubber would fill the Grand Canyon two fifths of the way up. That may not sound impressive, but keep in mind it is a very big canyon.
Of course, it would be wrong to suggest this sort of mayhem began with rock-and-roll. After all, there were riots at the premiere of Mozart's "The Magic Flute." So, what's the answer? Ban all music? In this reporter's opinion, the answer, sadly, is 'yes'.
Kent Brockman: But there's already one big winner...Our state school system, which gets fully half the profits from the library.
Skinner: Just think what we can buy with that money...History books that know how the Korean War came out. Math books that don't have that base six crap in them! And a state-of-the-art detention hall, where children are held in place by magnets.
Homer: It's not our fault, we didn't want the boy, he was an accident!
Marge: Homer!!!
Homer: Um, could you edit that last part out?
Kent: Mr. Simpson, we're live coast to coast!
Homer: D'oh!
Kent: And we visit with heavyweight champion Drederick Tatum, who reminisces about growing up in Springfield.
Tatum: That town is a dump. If you ever see me back there, you'll know I really (bleep)-ed up bad.
Kent: We'll watch Springfield's oldest man meet Springfield's fattest man.
Homer: He's not so fat.
Eenie meenie miney mo. Is Homer a hero? The answer is no.
Are cartoons too violent for children? Most people would say "No, of course not, what kind of stupid question is that?" But one woman says "Yes"... Marge Simpson.
Kent Brockman: So you have no professional objection to Itchy & Scratchy?
Marvin Monroe: No not at all, in fact, uh, one of my guilty little pleasures is to snuggle up with a big bucket of buttered popcorn, dim the lights, listen to Itchy and Scratchy, and laugh myself silly. Now what the hell is wrong with that?
Is it a masterpiece? Or just some guy with his pants down?
Kent
