Cougar Town
Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBSFavorite Laurie Keller Quotes
Andy: Great, they're grossed out by the thought of us naked.
Ellie: Not us my friend.
Laurie: [Laughing]
Stupid Canadian kids and their holes!
Laurie: What is this? It looks like a smoke detector from a disco.
Ellie: That is a Simon.
Jules: No one gets any wine until they say something nice about Ellie.
Laurie: I'm going to a bar.
Since you recently found out you're a dad, I baked you a congrats on your baby-that-you-had-with-a-drunk-that-picked-up-at-your-bar-before-you-started-dating-Jules cake!
Travis: Well you're betraying your own life philosophy.
Laurie: Never fight shorthaired bitches?
There's a fun game - "Things Ellie Would Never Say."
Happy Valentines Day. Yeah it's a fake holiday, but we still want stuff. Xoxo The female writers P.S. Not lingerie - that's for you
Title Card
Uh, I think I sweated off my birth control patch.
Laurie: This will cheer you up! I have really good news?
Ellie: Are you sterile?!
Ellie: Should I remove your nuts?
Laurie: Oh, it's not you, she's just a horrible person.
Jules: What the hell was that?
Laurie: You're getting landlined.
