Lem Hewitt Quotes
We are not mad scientists, Ted, regardless of what our bowling shirts might say.
Lem: But what about protocol?
Ted: Forget protocol. Did Einstein stop to fill out paperwork before discovering his Theory of Relativity?
Phil: Actually, he was a patent clerk, so all he did was fill out paperwork
Phil: So I've been thinking about our past, and how I chummed the waters of our friendship with fish guts of dishonesty.
Lem: And I've been thinking about how the shark of my loyalty gorged on the deceitful entrails of your bloody lies.
Phil: So we both saw that shark special last night
Lem: MIT was the best: the academic clubs, the dorms, the guys, the girl.
Lem: How can I trust you now? I bet you weren't even rescued in Montana by Harrison Ford.
Phil: No, that is true, I swear. I woke up next to a campfire with Indiana Jones making me bacon
Lem: You went to the University of Aruba?
Phil: Where knowledge is king and clothing is optional
Linda: You realize that if this project goes forward, all the aborigines in Australia will lose their sense of smell.
Ted: Which is why I'm going to kill it. That's just too high a price to pay for fabric softener.
Linda: If those aborigines were here, they'd smell a good man
Lem: I will not let you go. Come on, this is just like the virtual climbing wall at MIT.
Phil: It wasn't there when I was there.
Lem: It's virtual. Technically it was never there
Ted: I guess I've also been under a lot of pressure. With Linda moving in my office and all, it's... it's been a difficult time. So what do we do?
Lem: We're men. We ignore your vulnerable moment.
Ted: I meant about the biocomputer
Oh my god, I emptied the stomach of the woman I love
Lem: I can be funny. Uh, want to see me throw something at that guy or touch the ceiling?
Lucy: That's lame. But it's cute you're trying so hard to impress me.
Lem: If you like lame, you should meet me for a drink tonight after I have dinner with my mom and pretend to go to bed
Phil: Why don't you go talk to her?
Lem: Talk to her? Would you talk to a rainbow or a sunset?
Phil: If I wanted to get it on with refracted light, I would.
Lem: If only I was a worm. i could cut myself in two and date my lower half.
Phil: We all wish we were worms, Lem, but that's never going to happen
