The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSFavorite Leonard Hofstadter Quotes
Sheldon: I'm listening to you snore. I'm wondering how I'll ever sleep without it.
Leonard: If it helps you sleep, then why are you sitting here
staring at me like the albino boogeyman?
Sheldon: Really, Leonard-- insults? After I spent two hours in your closet waiting for you to fall asleep?
Sheldon: If the surgery is successful, the snoring is gone. And if you die during surgery...the snoring is gone.
Leonard: It sounds like either way, I finally get some rest.
Leonard: Okay, first of all, the surgery was a success, and secondly, I didn't even want you there.
Sheldon: Wow. I don't know which hurts worse-- my nose or my heart.
Leonard: What if... what if this is the thing that would've finally let him open that bottle of champagne?
Raj: Maybe he didn't know what to pair champagne with. Strawberries, caviar, oysters. All good choices. Yeah, that look right there is why people eat before they come to your parties.
Leonard: Because you don't know how to do cryptanalysis, do you?
Howard: I'm not even sure if it's the right word.
Howard: Why do you keep assuming it was me?
Leonard: Because you do this kind of thing all the time, and then you try to cover it up.
Howard: Like when?
Leonard: What about when you flipped the Mars Rover, or lost Koothrappali's dog, or almost drove off with that baby?
Howard: Again, it looked like my car, and the baby didn't even cry until his mother punched me with her keys.
Howard: How the hell did a pigeon get in here?
Leonard: You shut the loading doors, right?
Howard: I thought you did.
Leonard: Do you know what a disaster this is?!
Howard: You mean 'cause this room isn't supposed to have dust in it, and we just let in a flying crap machine
Howard: Well, what if we turn off all the lights except for one, and it'll come to it.
Leonard: It's not a moth!
Howard: Don't yell at me. You're not gonna get any good ideas out of me if you're yelling.
Leonard: Okay, so if I remain calm, I'll get more gems like, "Turn off the lights"?!
Howard: Great, we're turning on each other. That's just what the bird wants us to do!
Leonard: Hang on. Why do we have to hate it?
Penny: Three words. Dr. Who Convention.
Sheldon: There were plenty of ways to pass the time before smartphones were invented.
Leonard: That's true.
Sheldon: I'll look them up... Oh, son of a biscuit!
Do you realize I don't live with the woman I love because of you?
Penny: Yeah, I listen to what you say. You're building a particle detector using superfluid helium.
Leonard: You know, when you talk like that, I want to take you right here on this table.
Penny: And you know from past experience this table cannot support both our weight.
