The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSLeonard Hofstadter Quotes
I hope it's just a sprain. I cannot walk into that ER with another video game injury.
Leonard: I can't believe they kicked you out.
Raj: I can't believe they're still married.
Your element does not exist!
Sheldon: Well, I'm not just some trained monkey dancing for coins.
Leonard: Of course not. People love trained monkeys.
Penny: We had one of those silly fake weddings.
Leonard: Penny ... you know those are real, right?
Penny: No, they're not.
Leonard: Yeah, they are.
Penny: No, they're not.
Leonard: Yeah, they are.
Sheldon: He's right.
Amy: They're real.
Penny: But, it didn't seem real.
Leonard: It'd actually be nice to not hear Sheldon complain about my cooking all day.
Sheldon: Yo ... uh, excuse me, but every year you prepare a terrible meal and every year I criticize it. Do our traditions mean nothing to you?
Leonard: How about that? Sheldon's being reasonable.
Penny: Yeah, it's freaking me out. I'm gonna go.
Leonard: I'm gonna show you what's in the box, but just ... promise not to flip out.
Sheldon: Why would I flip out? Is it a spider? It's a spider.
Penny: No, if it was a spider, Lenny would've flipped out.
Dr. Jeffries: You ... you know you're describing a dog.
Leonard: He did bite me once.
Dr. Jeffries: W-why do you put up with Sheldon?
Leonard: Because we're friends.
Dr. Jeffries: Why?
Leonard: Wow. You ask really hard questions.
Leonard: Buddy, I don't think you can. I mean, once it's out there, it's out there. This thing is like the science equivalent of a sex tape.
Sheldon: You know, frankly, I'd prefer a sex tape.
Leonard: You don't know what a sex tape is, do you?
Sheldon: No.
Penny: Just you wait and see. I'm gonna romance your freakin' ass off.
Leonard: That's beautiful. Is that Shakespeare?
