The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSLeonard Hofstadter Quotes
Penny: Oh, I don't know. Remember what happened when I took care of your goldfish?
Leonard: Well, flush Sheldon down the toilet and get me a new one.
Penny: On a ship? Aren't they afraid Hawking will just roll overboard?
Leonard: Uh, he's not gonna be there. He's just sending a team to research his theory.
Penny: Oh sure. Like when you send me to kill spiders in your bathtub.
Leonard: I know what you are doing. You don't want me going on this research trip because you're afraid to be alone.
Sheldon: I'm not afraid to be alone. On the sea, it would be terrifying. Because of all the drowning.
Penny: This isn't alcohol. It's a potion that makes me like you.
Leonard: Double potion, please.
Sheldon: It would -- fun? Yeah, okay, three weeks ago, you brought crunchy peanut butter but now you want the girls to play D & D -- do you have a drug problem?
Leonard: What's the big deal?
Leonard: See, Howard is just as good a dungeon master as I am.
Sheldon: As good? You just got pantsed in the school yard four eyes.
Leonard: Sometimes change is good. You were worried about Zachary Quinto being the new Spock, but you ended up liking him.
Sheldon: Leonard, please, every time the topic of change comes up you throw Zachary Quinto in my face. I'm upset the mailman has a new haircut -- Zachary Quinto. I'm upset daylight savings time started -- Zachary Quinto. I'm upset daylight savings time ended -- Zachary Quinto. I'm saying this for the last time. Zachary Quinto was a weird, wonderful, unrepeatable event, so stop using him against me.
Professor Proton: I'm having trouble with my pacemaker.
Leonard: I'll call for help.
Penny: Any chance we could plug it into the potato?
Professor Proton: No.
Professor Proton: Is the blond girl really your girlfriend?
Leonard: Yes, sir.
Professor Proton: You're the genius.
Sheldon: Leonard?
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: I still can't sleep.
Howard: How'd you get him to come to your house?
Sheldon: As Professor Proton says, "There is no problem you can't solve if you use your noggin."
Leonard: And, he wrote him a check.
Sheldon: Yeah, that too. A big check.
Leonard: It was pretty cool.
Penny: Aw, so cute when you use the word "cool" wrong. Like when kids say "pasghetti."
