The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXLisa Simpson Quotes
Impaled on my Nobel Peace Prize. How ironic.
Lisa: And now you can go back to just being you, instead of a one-dimensional character with a silly catch phrase.
Homer: (slips as he leans on his elbow and breaks a lamp) D'oh!
Bart: Ay, caramba!
Marge: (Grumbling) Mmmmmmmm!
Maggie: (pacifier sucking noise)
Ned Flanders: Hidely-ho!
Barney: (Belches)
Nelson: HA, HAAAH!
Mr. Burns: Ex-cellent!
(Long pause, then everyone stares at Lisa)
Lisa: If anyone wants me, I'll be in my room.
Homer: What kind of catch phrase is that?
Lisa: If I ever become famous, I want it to be for something worthwhile, not because of some obnoxious fad.
Bart: Obnoxious fad?
Homer: Aw, don't worry, son. You know, they said the same thing about Urkel--that little snot boy! I'd like to smash that kid!
Homer: Lisa, the mob is working on getting your saxophone back, but we've also expanded into other important areas. (pulls out a piece of paper) Literacy programs. Preserving our beloved covered bridges. World domination--
Lisa: World domination?
Homer: Uh, heh, that might be a typo.
Homer's Brain: Mental note, the girl knows too much.
Bart: The burglar even took my stamp collection!
Lisa: You! Had a stamp collection!? (everybody laughs *phone rings*)
Nelson: Stamp collection!? Haha!
Lisa: We are insured, aren't we, Mom?
Marge: Homer, tell your child what you bought when I sent you to town to get some insurance.
Homer: Curse you magic beans!
Marge: Oh, stop blaming the beans.
Lisa: Dad, maybe this will cheer you up. (plays song by blowing an empty bottle)
Homer: Oh! It doesn't work anymore.... I didn't say stop!
Lisa: Well, I know it sounds absurd. But I dreamed the Boogeyman was after me and he's...
Homer: Ahhh! Boogeyman! You nail all the doors and the windows; I'll go get the gun!
Lisa: There's nothing to eat for breakfast.
Homer: You gotta improvise, Lisa. ClovesTom Collins' mixfrozen pie crust (he just give it a bite) Lets go for mom.
Lisa: I'm not a state, I'm a monster!
Homer: No, Lisa. The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!
Nevada makes my butt look big.
Lisa: Dad, Mom said she'd be home to help me with my costume and she's not, and the geography pageant is tonight!
Homer: Lisa, your mom still loves you. It's just that she has a career now. She's a slot-jockey.
