The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXMarge Simpson Quotes
(Marge tracks down Lurleen's father.)
Marge: Hello. Are you Royce Lumpkin?
Royce: That's right.
Marge: The father of Lurleen Lumpkin?
Royce: Lurleen? (sighs) I ain't seen my little girl in 30 years. She must be what, uh, 12, 13 by now?
Marge: She's 34, and she's having a rough time!
Royce: Oh, man. I better whiskey up these corn flakes. (pours whiskey in his cereal)
Marge: She needs to see you right away!
Royce: Aw, man. I better heroin up this orange juice. (shoots contents of a syringe into his glass)
(to Lurleen) If you ever come near Homer again, I'll strangle you with your own hair extensions. That's right, I know.
(about Lurleen) She turned down Lenny and Carl? That's like somebody who doesn't like hamburgers or hotdogs! What could make her hate men like that?
Marge: Homie, I'm gonna be a dancer!
Homer: Go-go or boring?
Marge: Boring!
(Homer moans)
(Bart sees Lisa taking second-hand smoke and calls home.)
Homer: Yello. She what?! Oh, my God! Well, I'm going to settle this once and for all! Meet me at that place we discussed. (Hangs up)
Marge: Who was that?
Homer: Wrong number.
(Marge is suspicious of Homer, who is wearing a fedora hat and a trench coat.)
Marge: Homer, where are you going?
Homer: Work.
Marge: It's 4 o'clock on a Saturday.
Homer: I, uh, have to... count the atoms at the nuclear plant. Conservation of mass! It's the law!
I'd rather have a chubby hubby than a sexy exy!
Marge: A carnival? What's so romantic about this?
Lisa: Bye!
Bart: See you later!
(Bart and Lisa run off into the carnival.)
Homer: For the next two hours, we'll be kid-free. It'll be just like the time we lost them at the mall.
(Homer and Marge chuckle.)
Homer: That was the best Christmas ever.
Marge: Any minute now, he'll scamper through that doggy door.
Homer: Any minute now, I'll be the dog she's lookin' for.
Barney, Moe, Lenny, and Carl: Any minute now, you'll be stuck with her brood.
Patty and Selma: Any minute now, this pooch will know she's screwed.
Marge: My hearts tells me to trust him.
Patty and Selma: But your head knows he's a hound.
Homer: I want to do the right thing.
Moe: Come on! With all this high class tail around?
(Hooker Dog smokes a cigarette, coughs badly)
Fleas: Any minute now, our girl will make a brand new start.
Patty and Selma: Yes!
Marge: Any minute now, I won't care that broke my heart.
Marge and Homer: Annnny minnnute nooooow.
Marge: There is a part of our past that we haven't told you kids about. A turbulent part.
Bart: Come on. More turbulent than now?
Lisa: We're in every kind of therapy!
Homer: Things happened between your mother and me that we're not proud of. It was the middle of a wild decade known as the 1990's.
Bart: The '90s? Never heard of it.
I can't believe I got in. It's like a dream come true! An expensive dream. (Sighs)
(Marge looks at letter saying that the annual cost for the college is $3000.)
Homer: You applied to college? Why didn't you tell me?
Marge: I did tell you.
Homer: I thought you were telling me you wanted to apply yourself to making a collage! And as I recall, I was against it.
