Michael Scott Quotes
Jim: Who's that?
Michael: Captain Jack Sparrow - Captain Jack Sparrow Jim!
Jim Jim - where do I find the black pearl?
Did I mess up my career today? My future prospects at Sabre, I dunno, there is a chance, yes. I'll tell you what I love my job. But Jo, wants me to put on a show for her and pretend to work late? I spent all day trying to make her like me that I forgot to ask myself something, do I even like her! As the Irish poet Bobby McFerrin said, don't worry be happy.
Michael: How late are we gonna work tonight?
Gabe: You never know with Jo. Sometimes we're here to midnight, sometimes she doesn't show up for three days.
Michael: Why does she do that. Why doesn't she just tell you what your schedule is.
Gabe: Yeah, that'd be awesome. I could get a girlfriend! I wouldn't have to go to Amsterdam seven times a year. But, uh, I'm young. Right? "I will date when I'm dead!"
Michael: Very nice!
Darryl: Not bad, huh?
Michael: A real hoop dream story you got there.
Oscar: I have a question.
Michael: [whispering to Jo] Oscar, homosexual accountant.
When you work for Sabre only one thing matters. And I don't care if you're a loser, orrrrr you practice bestiality. If Jo likes you, you are in. And I .... am in.
Do I really wanna turn out like Gabe? 26. Single. Tied to my desk. No life no family. I want to have been married by the time I would've turned thirty. That's just... that's just depressing.
Michael: Oh man, you seem to have caught Jo's eye. How'd you make that happen?
Darryl: I impressed her with my good ideas.
Michael: Mm-hmm! Seriously. How'd you do it.
Darryl: I made a suggestion at the meeting that was good. You were there...
Michael: How do I put this delicately... Does her family owe your family something? In terms of a past injustice.
Darryl: Now Mike I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. So I can learn about this tiny television.
It is St. Patrick's Day. And here in Scranton, that is a huge deal. It is the closest that the Irish will ever get to Christmas.
Kevin: I've done better than Erin! Lynn was hotter than Erin... Michael, you dated Holly and Jan and they were so much hotter than you.
Michael: That is debatable. And I have a personality.
This is not babu dabu. In this country, a woman can make the choice as to who she wants to date.
