Michael Scott Quotes
Erin: I don't want anyone to die.
Michael: Just don't let Kevin sit on you.
Kevin has an enormous heart. Literally. He has an elephant heart. He had a transplant when he was 17.
Pam's mom [to Pam]: Love you.
Michael [to Pam's mom]: Love you, too... as a friend.
Phyllis: I have an ice cream cake in the car.
Michael: Go! Go! Go! Are you insane?
Gotta go wash my eyes. That kid's gonna have a lot of hair.
Michael: Should I bring a dictionary?
Oscar: The hospital will provide dictionaries. Bring a thesaurus.
Michael: Is it midnight yet?
Phyllis: It's 4:35.
No one touch Pam's nipples! Think of Pam's nipples as Toby's grundle.
Phyllis: I can put on lipstick the way Molly Ringwald does in The Breakfast Club.
Michael: I don't think anyone wants to see that.
I'm sort of a master of distraction. When I was a kid, my mom received complaints left and right from my teachers that I would distract everyone around me.
Jim: [The baby] wasn't conceived here. Burning Man. Port-o-potty!
Michael: Yuck! TMI! How was it? Tell me later.
Contramptions! She's contrampting!
