Miranda Hobbes Quotes
Carrie: You know who those women marry? The Roman numeral guys.
Charlotte: (reading from the paper) Charles Duffy Anderson IV.
Carrie: Ding-ding-ding!
Samantha: I find the higher the number the worse the sex. I went out with somebody III who couldn't even get it up.
Miranda: Imagine how bad Henry VIII must have been.
Carrie: Yeah, you give him head, he cuts yours off!
Miranda: Do you have a rolling pin?
Carrie: On me?
Miranda: In your kitchen?
Carrie: Are you kidding me, I use my oven for storage.
Miranda: Who is this and what is she doing in my bedroom?
Magda: It is the Virgin Mary.
Miranda: And where's my other thing?
Magda: What thing?
Miranda: You know the thing, the thing, don't make me say it. The thing you moved and replaced with this lady.
Magda: In bathroom, middle drawer next to hair dryer. But no man will marry you if that is by bed. It means you don't need him.
Miranda: Magda, what I don't need is another mother. I have one in Philadelphia and that's close enough. I need a housekeeper who will clean my apartment and stop judging me because I'm a thirty-four year old single woman living in New York. I drink coffee and have sex and buy pies and enjoy battery operated devices. If you can't deal with that, I will find a another housekeeper who can.
It's like I hired my mother.
Carrie: I just can't believe she opened your goody drawer. I mean, everyone knows the night stand is private.
Charlotte: What do you have in there?
Miranda: You know the usual, condoms, vibrator....
Carrie: Massage oils, cigarettes.
Charlotte: Well at least you have a boyfriend.
Miranda: That doesn't mean I'm getting married, it means I'm getting laid.
Miranda: I would be very worried if I were you. The pee could just be foreplay.
Carrie: Oh, my God!
Miranda: Where there's smoke, I'm just saying....
Samantha: This is so typical of men in power. They just love to be dominated and humiliated.
Charlotte: What did you say when he asked you?
Carrie: Well I told him that I'd just gone, but maybe another time. But I really don't think that I can keep saying that forever.
Miranda: That's my problem. I don't know how to be political in relationships.
Carrie: Oh oh, it's time for the old list. Things you like about Steve, things you don't like about Steve, and you see which column is longer.
Miranda: That's so judgmental.
Carrie: Miranda, you are judgmental. Why don't you put it to good use?
Miranda: Tell me again, why are we voting for this guy?
Carrie: Well, he's calling for an investigation into the Board of Education to weed out waste and fraud, and he's launched a probe against large corportations to make them stop throwing away your tax dollars. I'm sleeping with him.
Steve: Good enough for me.
I'm glad you three weren't around during the original thirteen colonies. I don't think our founding fathers were very fuckable.
Who woulda thought that an island that tiny, would be big enough to hold all our old boyfriends?
Samantha: I would love to show him my lower Manhattan.
Charlotte: Eww!
Samantha: Look at his arms, they're huge.
Miranda: You know what they say, big arms...big arms.
Samantha: Hello, 911, I'm on fire.
