Miranda Hobbes Quotes
Samantha: Well, of course you pick the wrong guys. Jesus, I coulda told you that.
Carrie: Frankly, I thing I picked the wrong therapist. She thought I was a game player.
Charlottle: You have to be. It's the only way to deal with men.
Miranda: That's healthy. Relationships are not about playing games. They're about mature and honest communication.
Carrie: This coming from a woman whose playing peek a boo with her neighbor.
Charlotte: I mean even if you're still in a relationship you still have to play games.
Carrie: Big and I played games look where it got us.
Charlotte: But maybe the game is not really over, maybe it's just halftime.
Miranda: With that kind of delusional thinking, is why you should be in therapy too.
Carrie: (about therapists) First they want you to come there two times a week, then three times a week, and eventually you're starting every sentence with my therapist says...
Miranda: My therapist says that's a very common fear.
Stanford: Excuse me, but when did wild sex come back in style?
Carrie: Oh I think that was the weekend you spent at the Barney's warehouse sale.
Waiter: (male, barely dressed) Three cosmopolitans, a diet coke, and a vodka martini with a twist.
Samantha: (whips the table) I said olive! (Waiter bends over, and Samantha gives his butt a whipping) Bad waiter! Bad waiter!
Miranda: What do you tip for that?
Samantha: Anyone else want a whack?
Charlotte: How does he wait our tables dressed like that, it's humiliating.
Carrie: Well the summer I worked at Howard Johnson's I had to wear an orange hat.
Samantha: Don't be so judgemental! This is just a sexual expression. All these people have jobs and pay their bills. They're just having fun with fetishes. (tickling Charlotte with the tip of her whip) Hmm, I wonder what your fetish is.
Stanford: Charlotte has a thing for Crabtree & Evelyn foot cream.
Charlotte: I don't have a fetish!
Samantha: We all have a fetish! The difference between us and them is, they're putting it out there where everyone can see. And I think it's healthy and fabulous.
Carrie: (getting up) Well, it was lovely to see you all. And remember ladies, whipping on the first date is considered forward.
Stanford: You sit your ass down, Mistress Carrie, there are drinks present.
Carrie: No can do, Big's flying to Paris tomorrow for business and I want to say goodbye.
Samantha: Oh, why not give him a goodbye he'll never forget? (hands the whip and top hat to Carrie)
Stanford: Sacre bleu!
Samantha: Go get 'im, girl!
Miranda: Great, your love life takes you to Paris and I'm fucking in the back of a cab.
Carrie: That's lovely.
Miranda: And, it's not just there, we've done it in the bathroom at Bond Street....
Charlotte: Oh, I just ate there.
Miranda: The elevator at the Marriott Marquis and a public restroom in Central Park.
Carrie: How very George Michael of you.
Carrie: It's about the fact that I wasn't even a factor in his decision-making process.
Miranda: Totally.
Samantha: Men do this all the time. Women walk around thinking "we", and their version of "we", is "me and my dick".
Miranda: Totally!
Samantha: I need a new gynecologist. Do you like yours?
Miranda: Not right now, no.
Samantha: Well, at least she's a woman. I tried to go to a man, but it was just too strange. Having a guy spend all that time down there and then you leave, without an orgasm and a bill!
Doctor: I got your test results back and everything looks fine.
Miranda: Great!
Doctor: Just one small thing, it appears you have a lazy ovary.
Miranda: A lazy ovary?
Doctor: Yes, your right ovary has stopped producing eggs.
Miranda: Is it possible it's just on strike?
Miranda: I know what this is, my right ovary has given up hope that I will ever get married and have kids. It's like working on a case that you know is gonna settle out of court. Why bother?
Carrie: Well, the left one still believes.
Miranda: I'm a biological underachiever. And it's ironic because that ovary went to Harvard.
Samantha: I never leave underwear at a guy's place, because I never see it again.
Charlotte: What happens to it?
Samantha: Nothing, I just never go back.
Carrie: Doesn't that get a little expensive, disposing of lingerie everytime you sleep with a guy?
Samantha: That's why I stopped wearing underwear on dates.
Miranda: And that's why, I'm never borrowing a dress from you again.
Hey! I don't need to be lectured about science by a man who's doing a crop rotation on his forehead!
Samantha: How's he in bed?
MIranda: There are no words.
Samantha: Sounds like a dream relationship to me.
Carrie: Yeah, he can make you cum then he can make you a cosmopolitan.
