Jess: I didn't really know your dad, except for that one hour when I committed fraud with him.
Nick: That's all there is to know.

I'm just trying to figure out the level of Elvis impersonator we can afford. I think a white one is out of reach.

Nick: Schmidt, I have to ask you a favor. It's about my clothes.
Schmidt: Burn them! Burn them all!

Schmidt: A tuxedo is different from a suit.
Nick: It is??!!

Sometimes I just sit in the stall and listen to you guys.

Mr. Day: What's she like?
Nick: She's not quirky. She has no bangs.

I don't know how you get a podcast, but you should look into it.

I look very handsome! I look like I'm on "Miami Vice"!

Schmidt gave me his worst suit! He said if I could get it over my thighs, he didn't want it!

Jess, this is where I belong! With Winston and a badger.

Jess: What's next? What do we do?
Nick: I'm really fighting the urge to buy you a lobster dinner.

He smells of strong coffee and going to see a man about a horse.

New Girl Quotes

Cece: What's your stripper name?
Jess: Uh, Rebecca Johnson.
Cece: Your stripper name is Rebecca Johnson?
Jess: Boobies Johnson. Two Boobs Johnson.

I could pretend to be more like you, Jess, and live on a sparkly rainbow and drive a unicorn around and just sing all the time.

Nick