Hey, Mrs. Simpson, you should try one of these smart drinks! (Downs his drink) Oh, wow. I've wasted my life!

Bart: Otto! There's a gremlin on the side of the bus!
(Otto looks out his side window and sees Hans Moleman driving.)
Otto: Don't worry, Bart dude. I'll get rid of him.
(Otto slams into the car.)
Hans Moleman: Oh, I just made my last payment.
(Moleman's car almost crashes into a tree, but then explodes.)

Kurt: Milhouse and I are next.
Otto: There's no suspense at your place. Even I hooked up with your old lady. Sorry, kid.
Milhouse: You were my favorite uncle, Uncle Otto.

My name is Otto; I love to get blotto.

Sinclair: Tonight you'll be transformed to dead-eyed suburbanites, to white hot grease fires of pure entertainment. (To Otto) Except you, you're not working out. I'll be playing your part.
Otto: Drag.

All right! Three whole months of spaghetti-o's and daytime TV!

Bart: Otto-Man? You're living in a dumpster?
Otto: Ho, man, I wish. Dumpster-brand trash bins are top-of-the-line. This is just a Trash-Co waste disposal unit.

Marge: Otto, you can't watch TV all day.
Otto: You're right. I should do some reading. You got any "Where's Waldo" books?
Marge: No.
Otto: A book from a vampire's point of view?
Marge: No.
Otto: Anything where guys send in naked pictures of chicks?
Marge: Otto, I think you should get a job.

Homer: All right, he can stay. But I get to treat him like garbage.
Otto: Wow! What's the catch?

Skinner: It's a miracle nobody was hurt.
Otto: I stand on my record. Fifteen crashes and not a single fatality.

Otto: Can I at least get my stuff?
Landlord: All I found in there was a jar of mustard and a couple of old Psycho magazines.
Otto: Wow! I have mustard?

Otto: All right, yeah, so how did I do?
Patty: Well you failed every segment, and misspelled bus on your application.

The Simpsons Quotes

Larry: What you got riding on this?
Homer: My daughter.
Larry: What a gambler!

Maggie? Oh, you must be sick. Let's see, what's old Dr. Washburn prescibe? Do you have dropsy? The grippe? Scofula? The vapors? Jungle rot? Dandy fever? Poor man's gout? Housemaid's knee? Climatic poopow? The staggers? Dum-dum fever?

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