Lou: Let's see your license, pal!
Otto: No can-do, never got one. But if you need proof of my identity I wrote my name on my underwear. Oh wait, these aren't mine!

Martin: Although I'm sure I will receive a severe wedgie from my bus-mates, I must remind you that we should have been at school ten minutes ago.
Otto: Uh oh, better fasten your seatbelts little dudes.
Lisa: We don't have seatbelts.
Otto: Uh, well, then just try to go limp.

Otto: I guess I am a bum...
Bart: Homer didn't call you a bum, he called you a sponge.
Otto: SPONGE?! (Punches wall) I'll show him what this sponge can do!

Patty: When you do good, I use the green pen. When you do bad, I use the red pen. Any questions?
Otto: Yeah, one. Have you always been a chick? I mean I don't want to offend you, but you were born a man, weren't you? You can tell me; I'm open-minded.
Patty: (Dropping the green pen) We won't be needing this.

Bart: Otto, you are the coolest adult ever!
Otto: Wow! I've never been called an adult before, but I've been tried as one.

Hey, this is fun, isn't it! We're gonna die, aren't we!

Apu: Did you notice that there is a kid on your bus?
Otto: Glad you told me. I was about to go to Mexico.

Bye little dudes. Don't learn anything I wouldn't learn!

Otto: (Singing, to tune of "Foxy Lady" over Bus microphone) Do do doo, do doo do doo, do do do doo.
Bart: Hey Otto, can I use that microphone.
Otto: ..doo do do (Switches off) Sorry Bart dude, it's for emergencies only. (Switches back on) Doo doo doo.

Bart: Otto, I'm going to jump Springfield Gorge on my skateboard.
Otto: You know, Bart, as the only adult here, I feel I should say something?
Bart: What?
Otto: Cool!

(A concerned Bart boards the school bus.)
Otto: Hey, Bart, dude! Whoa, you look freaked.
Bart: Hey, Otto man, I got a big test today that I am not ready for. Could you please crash the bus or something?
Otto: Oh, sorry, little buddy. Can't do it on purpose. But hey, maybe you'll get lucky!

Otto: Get off the bus or forever hold your peace, little dudes!
(The students climb off the bus, as Bart stays behind.)
Bart: Otto, you know I respect you. I mean, you always let us throw stuff at cars and try to tip the bus on sharp turns.
Otto: Heh. Damn thing never goes over, does it? Ah! So, what's in your head, little man?
Bart: Well, I've been failing a lot of tests recently.
Otto: Yeah-huh.
Bart: And now they're talkin' about holding me back in the fourth grade if I don't shape up.
Otto: That's it? Hey, relax, man! It could end up being the best thing that ever happened to ya. I got held back in the fourth grade myself. Twice! Look at me, man! Now I drive the school bus!

The Simpsons Quotes

Go ugly up someone else's house, you penis-curling she devils.

Homer

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!