The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSPenny Quotes
Penny: We're keeping things, you know, homeostasis.
Amy: It's so cute when she tries.
Sheldon: Penny? Please don't hurt my friend.
Penny: That is the last thing I want to do.
Sheldon: Thank you.
Amy: Soon my upper lip will be the same fake blonde as my beautiful best friend.
Penny: Hey, this is my natural hair color - Now.
Leonard: I'm sorry! I did, I crossed a line I didn't mean to.
Penny: Who says something like that right in the middle of sex?
Leonard: I don't know, it just came out! People say weird things during sex all the time.
Penny: Okay, well they sure as hell don't say that.
Leonard: It was heat of the moment.
Penny: No, the heat of the moment is "Oh yeah, just like that." Not "will you marry me?"
Leonard: I'm sorry, just-just give me another chance.
Penny: Why, so you can crawl under the covers and go, "Hey, baby, wanna go look for houses in neighborhoods with good schools?"
Howard: Tell her I'm really sorry. And if she doesn't want to marry me, I get it. But what I really want her to know is the guy that she is really disgusted by is the guy that I'm disgusted by, too. But, that guy doesn't exist anymore; he's gone. And the reason is because of her. So, if this relationship is over, let her know that she made me a better man, and tell her thank you.
Penny: Oh my god, Howard! That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. And it came out of you.
Bernadette: I've actually been thinking I'm going to hyphenate: Bernadette Maryann Rostenkowski-Wolowitz.
Penny: Nice. You know, you should totally get Bernadette Maryann Rostenkowksi-Wolowitz.com before someone snaps it up.
Bernadette: Howard already took are of it. Plus he set up our beautiful wedding website with cute little facts about our family histories. Do you know for a while, in Poland, my family and his family were neighbors.
Penny: Aww, that's cool.
Amy: No, it's not. I'll explain it to you later.
Penny: Why should I worry?
Leonard: Well, I don't know. It's a bachelor party, there could be strippers. Wouldn't that make you a little jealous?
Penny: Come on, Leonard, it's you. What's gonna happen? I mean, even if there was a stripper, all you'd do is avoid eye- contact and offer to help her kid with his homework.
Sheldon: You don't think I'm condescending, do you?
Penny: Well....
Sheldon: Oh, I'm sorry. Condescending means....
Penny: I know what it means. And yes, you like to correcting people and putting them down.
Sheldon: Au Contraire. When I correct people I am raising them up. You should know, I do it for you more than anyone.
Penny: I know, he's the wheelchair dude who invented time.
Sheldon: That's close enough.
Penny: What is the truth?
Sheldon: My Mr. Spock doll came to me in a dream and forced me to open it. And when the toy broke I switched it for yours. Later, he encouraged me to do the right thing and I defied him. And then I was attacked by a Gorn.
Leonard: Okay, that I believe.
Leonard: Once you open the box, it loses it's value.
Penny: Yeah, yeah. My mom gave me the same lecture about my virginity. I gotta tell you, it was a lot more fun taking it out and playing with it.
Leonard: You went to the comic book store by yourself?
Penny: Yeah. It was fun. I walked in and two different guys got asthma attacks. Felt pretty good.
