Popular Perry Cox Quotes
Dr. Cox: Now where is your camera? Aren't, aren't you going to take some pictures?
J.D.: Pictures of what?
Dr. Cox: You know. Crying babies. Covered in chocolate. People singing happy birthday to my son, who've never even met him before. You know, the whole routine.
J.D.: Where do you think we are?
J.D.: Dr. Cox? I could use a little help.
Dr. Cox: Beyoncé, you could use a lot of help. But, hey, we all have to play the hand the Big Guy dealt us. You know, unless you're lucky enough to have those insanely over-hyped 'Queer Eye' guys show up at your door, but I doubt even they have the brass ones necessary to fix whatever the hell this is.
J.D.: Yeah, if you wanna use the appearance angle to knock down my self-esteem, best to do it on a day when my hair doesn't look awesome! I know - it's new wax.
J.D.: ...And now, Mr. Mueller's doing so much better, I'm not even sure telling him the truth about his pancreatic cancer is even the best thing for him.
Dr. Cox: So, what you're saying is that you have a problem that is totally your problem, but you'd like to find a way to make that problem my problem. But here's the problem, Newbie: it's not my problem. So whatta you say we stop talking about the Janitor's junk; I'd like to hear nahsing about ze German; and don't even mention Tasty Coma Wife, even though I know she's on your mind.
J.D.: Dr. Cox; I got, uh, Will's CT results back. No cancer! So, uh, what should I tell him?
Dr. Cox: I'd open with that
Elliot: You know that guy that crashed this morning is doing great?
Dr. Cox: Oh, Barbie. Maybe you could take a break from congratulating yourself and figure out what's wrong with Mrs. Kasuba over there, seeing as you're her doctor and she's been in the I.C.U. for three days.
Elliot: We're, um, running lots of tests.
Dr. Cox: Tests? Oh, goody! And what exactly will you be looking for? And if it's the slowest doctor in the hospital, then ding! ding! ding! ding! I already found her.
Alright listen up and listen good. I will kill anyone who tells Carla. And that includes you Mrs. London. I will save your life and take it away.
Dr. Cox
J.D.: Carla, at 6:41 tomorrow evening, I turn thirty. I have to find one thing on this list I can do by then.
Dr. Cox: Maybe you could swing by our parts department and pick up a pair of testes?
J.D.: Haven't you used that joke like a trillion times?
Dr. Cox: I'm okay with it.
J.D.'s narration: And then we saw something amazing. Dr. Cox said something nice to Dr. Kelso.
Dr. Cox: When you were the Chief, you were a jackass and a nightmare and I hated you a great deal.
Dr. Kelso: That's a good start.
Dr. Cox: Lookit, here's the rule, there, porn-star: The moment her toothbrush hits your sink, you've got yourself a permanent roomie.
J.D.: There'll be toilet paper everywhere!
Dr. Cox: And, last but not least, there was the surgeon who wanted to crack open Mr. Blake's chest like a walnut and put in a pacemaker that he didn't even need. Now, he's too modest to introduce himself to the group, so I'll do the honors. He is so black, so bald, and he can't eat cupcakes because he's got diabetes. Ladies and gentlemen, Chris Turk!
Turk: Can you just get out of here so we can get back to work?
Dr. Cox: Not until people start chanting my name so that I can exit the room with my hands held high above my head in a victorious gesture. Capisce?
(J.D. winks at Dr. Cox)
Dr. Cox: Oh my God, Sabrina. You had better tell me that you just had laser eye surgery and they accidentally severed the muscle that enables you to hold that lid up, because you did not just wink at me!
J.D.: I didn't mean anything by it, I wink at everybody. (Winks at Dr. Kelso) Hey, Dr. Kelso!
Dr. Kelso: Save it for the bathhouses, sport.
Dr. Cox: You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
Jordan: Yeah! That-that-ohhhh! That we invite Muscles, here, to hang a banner in our bedroom that says "It takes three to party"?
