Popular Perry Cox Quotes
Elliot: Why'd you have me paged?
Jill: To ask you to forgive me.
Elliot: For what?
Dr. Cox: Hello, sad clown. Thanks for paging her.
Elliot: How could you?
Jill: He-he called me "Cutie" and then he said something about my eyes... being as blue as the ocean- I... I got confused.
Elliot: Yeah, it probably would've worked on me, too.
Dr. Cox: You're damn right it would've
Carla: That's the worst advice I've ever heard!
Dr. Cox: Good point, Carla. Say, you don't happen to have any other gems you wanna lay on us before you run off to couples therapy to sift through the wreckage that is the first year of your marriage, do ya?
Carla: Why aren't you freaking out? Look at him - your kid's like all green and slimy.
Dr. Cox: Well, I suppose it's because when Jordan was pregnant, I mentally prepared myself for her giving birth to something green and...slimy.
Carla: Where is Jordan, anyway?
Dr. Cox: The wicked witch of the east wing?
Turk: Um, what, are you on a break or something?
Elliot: Well, I have nothing else to do, because none of my patients want to see me.
Turk: But that's a good thing, right? Because, now, you have time to take care of your life!
Elliot: Why are you being so weird?
Dr. Cox: Well, of course, that could be because he's shaving his dome so much lately that the hair is actually starting to grow inward - it's an affliction commonly known as the "infro." But, if I were to guess just exactly why he's been acting weird lately, I would say it's because...he's the one who's been steering your patients away from you... Discuss.
Dr. Cox: And for the hundredth time: You're right, you had absolutely nothing to do with me getting involved in this Mrs. Bumbry case. But, for God's sake, Carla, the much bigger problem facing us right now is just exactly how do we get you to stop annoying me?
Carla: Oh, yeah, I'm the problem. Look: Can't you just, for once, stay out of your own way?
Dr. Cox: Can't you just, for once, not be such a busy-body?
Dr. Cox: You know what, there, Newbie? You can go to the baptism. Now take Jack; Jordan'll kill me if he's not there. Plus, I know you - you're exactly one watered-down appletini away from trying to fix my sister and me.
J.D.: No, thank you. If there's one thing I learned from this guy, it's I need to stop trying to fix people's relationships.
Janitor: You're welcome.
Kelso: Can I do the interview with that little number in the second row? She said I reminded her of her grandfather and I think I can use that to at least get her top off.
Cox: You're a hell of an educator, Bob.
Kelso: I do it for them.
Dr. Cox: They hate you Bob. They hate you from the bottom of your hooves to the tip of your pitchfork. They hate you, by god, they hate you!
Dr. Kelso: What are you laughing at?
Laverne: That hooves and pitchforks part
Elliot: Hey.
J.D.: Hey.
Elliot: I just wanted to...
J.D.: Yeah.
Elliot: Look...
J.D.: Thanks.
Elliot: 'Kay.
J.D.: 'Kay.
Dr. Cox: Say, Barbie, for a second there, I thought you were being a little bit cold, but then you really saved it with the "... 'Kay."
(J.D.'s words echo: "Think of your best moment in medicine...." ***FLASHBACK: ADMISSIONS*** Dr. Cox passes the time by tossing little wads of paper through a toy basketball hoop stuck over a waste basket. He's distracted by the sound of a patient in the waiting area choking).
Dr. Cox: Huh? (He rushes over, administering the Heimlich)
Dr. Cox: Come here. Here y'go.
(the object flies out of the man's mouth, and sails right into the mouth of a nearby sleeping woman. She begins choking, and Cox Heimlichs her)
Dr. Cox: Here y'go!
(the object flies out of her mouth and soars over to the wastebasket, circling the rim of the hoop and dropping in)
Dr. Cox: (raising arms) WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Let's see anybody else make that shot! Huh? Who's your daddy? Who's your daddy! Who's your daddy?
Dr. Kelso: Perry, great news: I managed to swing it so that you get to go over to the state pen. today and do the annual inmates' physicals!
Dr. Cox: Well, hell's bells, Bobbo, if you want to fire me, just do it!
Dr. Kelso: I would, but even though this room was quite crowded when you sucker-punched me, apparently nobody saw it happen.
Ted snickers under his breath and Kelso glares at him.
Ted: Uh, saw what happen, sir?
Ted: Dr. Cox, did you hear that I'm quitting?
Dr. Cox: I did, Ted, and I don't know how to pretend to care.
Ted: Understandable.
Dr. Kelso: Theodore, I always figured that someday we'd just find you dead in your office.
Ted: Yeah, that was the dream.
