Popular Perry Cox Quotes
Elliot: Dr. Cox, this is the most painful thing I've ever done, and I was a cutter for a week in high school - my shop teacher thought scars were sexy, but that is a whole other story. The point is your advice really worked with Jake, and I'd really appreciate it if you'd give me some more help.
Dr. Cox: Oh, no problem Barbie. Let me just finish writing this, uh, prescription. You'll be all squared away.
Elliot: This a prescription for "no."
Dr. Cox: Correctomundo. It's to be taken with food every Saturday night while you're eating alone.
Feel free to take notes. Alright there, Blossom, here's the hot gossip. You're having seizures again because you're not taking your medication. If this continues, you will be dead... and I'm not talking about the "oh my God, if I don't get invited to the prom I'm going to die" type of dead I'm talking, dead dead. Is that clear enough for you? Because if it's not I could of course text you on my Blackberry, or my Blueberry or my Chuck Berry, although technically Chuck Berry is a black berry.
Dr. Cox
(To Mrs. Wilk) Would you love a virgin daiquiri? Its a...its a normal daiquiri. Ill just let him give it to you! (Gives glass to J.D.)
Dr. Cox
J.D.: Dr. Kelso, he's always telling me, you know, "You've gotta stay positive!"
Dr. Cox: I'm gonna go ahead and say this just as carefully as possible so I don't overstate it: Dr. Kelso is the most evil human being on the planet. And may, in fact, be Satan, himself
Dr. Cox: Holy cow. Do you realize if we could get a tight enough clamp around the bulb and then just-
Janitor: No, no, no, you'll break the thing! Look, here's the thing about lightbulbs, okay? They're structurally weak at the narrow end, but the round end is surprisingly strong.
Turk: So if we could get behind the bulb...
Janitor: I see where you're headed! We go down through the mouth!
Dr. Cox: Your turn's over.
Dr. Cox: For the love of G-d, the only respite I get from you is when we're making love and I pretend you're someone else!
Jordan: Yeah.. I usually pretend we're doing something else!
Elliot: On the one hand, I know Dr. Kelso doesn't mean anything by it. And, okay, maybe I am kind of a sweetheart...
Dr. Cox: I'm sleeping.
Elliot: On the other hand, it just sounds so demeaning! You know?
Dr. Cox: Mother of God, you're not listening to a word I'm saying, are you.
Elliot: I mean, it's not like he's my grandpa or anything. Anyway, J.D. always tells me how you've helped him out...
Dr. Cox: Well, he obviously hasn't told you about my ear-flicking policy, has he. Look! This whole "groovy guidance counselor" thing you people seem to have working is a total fantasy. I'm not that guy, you can go and ask anybody. Now, you've got to leave me alone, or I'll punish you
Janitor: Well, I hope you realize this means war.
Dr. Cox: Ah, buzz off, you big monkey.
Did I say he wanted a long introduction? Because Kelso just, he just likes when people say his name. Hope you didn't obsess too much about that, Newbie.
Dr. Cox
Dr. Cox: Oh hey there wait 'til you get a load of this, they're giving me a teaching award tonight so I'm gonna need you to go ahead and holster up 'the twins' as you'll be playing the role of "arm-candy".
Jordan: Yeah, I'm not going. If I wanna hear someone go on & on about how great you are, I'll just listen to you during sex.
Carla: Listen, um... We just think that getting back with Jordan might be a mistake. You guys just don't seem to... What am I trying to say, Baby?
Turk: I dunno.
Carla: You just don't connect the way a couple should. Do you know what I mean?
Dr. Cox: That pretty much the way you feel about it, there, Ghandi?
Turk: I dunno!
Dr. Cox: Interesting.
Elliot: You know what's amazing about you? You have this unbelievable ability to make me doubt myself.
Dr. Cox: I don't think I could possibly make you doubt yourself, ya rascal, unless you had the unnatural talent for being wrong most of the time.
