Perry Cox Quotes
Cox: You look so hot. When's the last time we kissed?
Jordan: About a month ago.
Cox: When's the last time we had sex?
Jordan: Yesterday.
Jordan: Okay, now that we're being all open and honest?
Dr. Cox: Yeah.
Jordan: I do not want to have any more kids. I think you should get the vasectomy!
Dr. Cox: Fantastic.
Dr. Cox: Jordan, let me talk for a second. I've been trained for many years to take any emotion I feel, push it down, and then let it out by drinking way too much and by yelling at the football players on my T.V. screen. And I... I really thought I hit the jackpot when I finally met a woman who was as disturbed and closed-off as I am.
Jordan: Thank you.
Dr. Cox: You're welcome. Still, now I want more. I-I really do. I want to talk about things. Not-not everything. Not everything. I definitely, definitely don't want to talk about everything. For instance I don't need to know when you beat up a woman in the park because her purse is the same color as yours; but things that matter, things that are important to us as a-as a family. And I know... I know that there are guys who bring flowers and that there are guys who write love songs. But, Jordan, I'm a guy sitting in front of you here with a twice operated-on penis that says "I want to be a couple that communicates more openly."
Dr. Cox: All righty, let's go for the hat-trick, there, doc.
Doctor: Are you sure?
Jordan: Hey, doc! Zip it, grip it, and snip it!
Jordan? Jordan, why aren't you more upset about this? I, honest to God, I don't get it. I mean, normally you'd go to your mother's for a bitch refresher course, and then you'd come right back here just swinging for the fences.
Dr. Cox
J.D.'s Narration: "Dorian" isn't hard to hear over the phone. But I didn't really want to talk about it with Turk. When you have a problem with someone, you tend to talk to everyone except them.
Dr. Cox: I went behind Jordan's back and got my junk rewired. She was sweet to me. Sweet, Bobbo. What the hell do you make of that?
Elliot: Carla thinks she's so tough, you know? She's "been around the block." She's "from the block." Enough about the block! It's not my fault my family had an orchard.
Carla: For four years I've had to listen to Elliot complain about her problems. "My parents are too rich." "I slept with J.D. again." "Why can't I gain any weight?" I have problems of my own! I'm from the block!
Jerry: I wanted to help her, I just wish she could've heard me.
Carla: Okay, Jerry, you're out.
Jordan: And why are you limping?
Dr. Cox: Fishing? I'm limping from fishing.
Dr. Kelso: I know that limp.
Dr. Cox: No, Bob. Bob, no.
Dr. Kelso: You just got a vasectomy! I had mine done back in '68. Ironically, that was the same year that Enid discovered pasta and I discovered I'm not attracted to enormous women.
Dr. Cox: I didn't just get a vasectomy.
Dr. Kelso: Come on, soldier! If I have to force you to drop your pants, I will! So, tell Bobbo, was it a hard decision for the two of you to make?
Dr. Cox: Yeah, we... we really... struggled... with it.
Dr. Kelso: I don't really care.
Carla: Where have you been?
Dr. Cox: Fishing.
Carla: You hate fishing.
Dr. Cox: I went with my friends.
Carla: You don't have friends.
Dr. Cox: What, uh, what did you do around the apartment while I was gone?
Jordan: Oh! I turned your little office into my pajama closet, I threw out everything in the 'frigerator that had the word "jerky" or "whiz" on it, I got rid of all your clothes that make you look like you're twenty years old - don't worry, I saved your hockey jerseys. Although I did move them into my new... pajama closet! And for some reason none of the remotes work anymore.
Whatta you say we head into the bathroom of this place and lower the health code rating from an A to a B? Whatta you say?
Dr. Cox
Dr. Cox: And in case you haven't noticed, we've got ourselves one hospital chock-full of monkey interns; and, news-flash, your job is to catch whatever they're flinging. Coffee talk, ladies, is now officially over. Get your asses to work. Now.
J.D.: Cream?
Elliot: Please!
J.D.'s Narration: Bottom line, together, Elliot and I are the greatest co-chief residents of all time.
Dr. Cox: (enters the room) You two are, without a doubt, the worst co-chief residents of all time.
