Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCPopular Phil Dunphy Quotes
She’s like a self-cleaning oven.
Phil: He seems like a real go-getter huh?
Haley: Why cause he goes and gets things?
Whoa that warmer drawer really works. It's like my mom's hugging my feet again.
They say the greats never let anything affect their performance. Well maybe the greats never had a daughter who checked out during the third of five planned real time wardrobe changes. But I'm not gonna lie, it knocked me off my game.
Cam: You wanna tell me how you accidentally gave someone your key?
Mitchell: You wanna tell me why you spent all day sipping tequila out of some guy's navel?
Cam: You saw that?
Mitchell: I guessed!
Phil: Sounds fun, wear your helmets.
Manny: We will. I'm not writing my first novel by blowing through a tube.
Haley: That's the old salvage yard where kids go to get high.
Claire: What? We are going there right now!
Phil: Wait, wait are you sure?
Haley: I'm gonna answer and then I'm gonna walk away, deal? I'm 420% sure.
Phil: Wow, she's bad at math.
Just a warning, I haven't shampooed professionally since college and that was only part-time to pay for my cheer gear.
You can’t do this. We’re a danger to ourselves. We’re a family of fire starters, poison eaters, and online prostitutes.
Claire: This cold stops with me. Why do you think I swapped beds with Luke last night?
Phil: You did?
Luke: Appreciated the back rub. Not sure I loved being called Miss Thang.
Phil: Nooooo!
If laughter is the best medicine, consider yourself grape flavored Triaminic.
Not since I fell off the roof while they were delivering our trampoline have things come together so beautifully.
