Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCPhil Dunphy Quotes
I've always said that if my son thinks of me as one of his idiot friends, I've succeeded as a dad.
Luke: The other day Uncle Mitchell brought over a bag of junk food so he and Cam could do a Jew fast.
Phil: Juice fast?
Luke: I'm pretty sure he said Jew.
How awesome are people?
Phil: Guess it's just one of those things that we'll never know, like what really happened to the Titanic.
Claire: It hit an iceberg.
Phil: Maybe.
Claire: Could you grab an extra virgin-
Phil: I think one's enough for the sacrifice.
Buffalo Phil. Worth the wait.
Phil: Which one's "bossy?"
Cowboy: That's my nickname for your wife.
Phil: Haha awesome.
Phil: It's just that when you say "Phil is my son-in-law", it sounds like you're saying "Phyllis, my son-in-law."
Jay: That's ridiculous.
Phil: Who is your son-in-law?
Jay: Phyllis!
I've been practicing like crazy all of my cowboy skills, shootin', ropin', pancake eatin'. Why? Because sometimes I feel like Jay doesn't respect me as a man.
Glen Whipple. My college rival. Captain of the cheer squad. Winner of every robot battle. Every second I spent with the guy just made me feel worse about myself. Only thing I could compete with him in was close-up magic.
Haley: I'm kind hungry mom.
Phil: Oh my god she's back!
Do you think he had his butt done too? It looks fantastic.
