Archer
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FXRay Gillette Quotes
Pam: Psst, Cyril rub one out.
Cyril: I do NOT want to masturbate
Pam: Not even after that (referencing Ray and Lana wrestling)
Lana: [to Archer] So will your feelings be super hurt if I bang him?
Ray: [from off-screen] Yes!!
Lana: So how did you get the name Crash?
Crash: Oh it's a long story about me saving the lives of 8 other climbers right after an avalance
Lana and Ray (in unison): Sploosh
Ray: Is this Brett's blood?
Cheryl: Ugh no, just the same type. We had to fudge it a little on the stains, some of which actually were fudge
Pam: And some of which merely resembled it
Ray: You thought I was dead?
Archer: Well, yeah, I just assumed...
Ray: And you didn't even take a moment!?
Cyril: If you finish that sentence, I'm going to rub cocaine in your eyes till you are blind.
Ray: Goddamn, Shawshank!
Ray: Besides keeping everybody up all night with your damn hootenannies...
Archer: Wait, that was a hootenanny?
Ray: This quit being funny two hours ago!
Krieger: It's not supposed to be funny.
If you'll excuse me, I have to remove my underwear with a blow torch.
Ray: Should you be smoking in here?
Lance: Should you be flaming in here? Boom, bumper.
Are you constantly aware you have regular leg bones?
Krieger: Do you ever want to walk again?
Gillette: No, because this way I never have to buy new shoes.
Krieger: Yeah, but is that worth it?
