Rufus Humphrey Quotes
Rufus: Well for what it's worth, when Lily and I started hanging out again, neither of us wanted anyone else to know. But friendship can be an excuseâ€”a cover when there's something more you don't want to admit, or you're too scared to explore.
Dan: No... no. No. I mean, there's no way. I mean even the thought of that isâ€”
Dan: No, I mean we're not even friends. I swear... we're not.
Dan: You ever hung out with someone but not been able to tell anyone?
Rufus: You mean, ah, hang out, hang out or, you know... "hang out" hang out?
Dan: Oh god, this was a bad idea.
Rufus: What? That was vague.
Rufus: So why did you want to grab coffee with your old man?
Dan: Do I need a reason?
Rufus: No, but you have one.
Dan: I, ah, I need your advice. But I gotta keep the details vague.
Rufus: Please, the vaguer the better. It keeps parenting a challenge.
Rufus: We'll get through this.
Lily: You sound so sure I almost believe you.
Lawyer: They're ready for us.
Rufus: I'll be waiting.
Lawyer: Lily, this is Assistant District Attorney Vincent. He's going to be taking your statement.
ADA: Whenever you're ready, Mrs. Humphrey.
Lily: You know you're not so bad at that double-agent thing yourself.
Rufus: Think he bought it?
Rufus: You think I'm a fool? I know what went on between the two of you. And it looks like it's still going.
Lily: Please. This is not the time.
Rufus: You're the one who invited him to Eric's eighteenth birthday party.
Russell: Actually I was just leaving.
Lily: You know, some men know how to behave appropriately at social events. Russell, I'm so sorry. I'll call you later.
Lily: I just got off the phone with Pete Holmberg. There was an emergency meeting of the Bass board. I'm being accused of an ethics violation and conflict-of-interest.
Rufus: Stand up for yourself. Don't let Thorpe get away with that.
Lily: It wasn't Thorpe, it was Charles.
Eric: I thought Damien got me. You know, we could just hang out together and do nothing. He was there for me.
Rufus: That kind of a guy always is.
Dan: You heard what happened? Are you seriously mad at me now?
Rufus: Well I can't say I'm entirely pleased.
Dan: You put Max Cady in my living room. What was I supposed to do?
Dan: Are you seriously letting Serena's stalker move in here?
Rufus: I told you last week this was a possibility.
Dan: I didn't think you'd actually do it. Especially without talking to me first.
Well that's the grand tour. Bedroom's in the back, kitchen's in the front. Nineties rock relics everywhere.
Rufus: You said you were going to help find Ben an apartment, not pay him to disappear.
Eric: Mom paid someone off again. Well we should make this a drinking game.
Lily: Ben Donovan has information that can ruin this family. What's wrong with not wanting him around?