Rufus Humphrey Quotes
Rufus: Well for what it's worth, when Lily and I started hanging out again, neither of us wanted anyone else to know. But friendship can be an excuse—a cover when there's something more you don't want to admit, or you're too scared to explore.
Dan: No... no. No. I mean, there's no way. I mean even the thought of that is—
Rufus: Scary.
Dan: No, I mean we're not even friends. I swear... we're not.
Dan: You ever hung out with someone but not been able to tell anyone?
Rufus: You mean, ah, hang out, hang out or, you know... "hang out" hang out?
Dan: Oh god, this was a bad idea.
Rufus: What? That was vague.
Rufus: So why did you want to grab coffee with your old man?
Dan: Do I need a reason?
Rufus: No, but you have one.
Dan: I, ah, I need your advice. But I gotta keep the details vague.
Rufus: Please, the vaguer the better. It keeps parenting a challenge.
Rufus: We'll get through this.
Lily: You sound so sure I almost believe you.
Lawyer: They're ready for us.
Rufus: I'll be waiting.
Lawyer: Lily, this is Assistant District Attorney Vincent. He's going to be taking your statement.
ADA: Whenever you're ready, Mrs. Humphrey.
Lily: You know you're not so bad at that double-agent thing yourself.
Rufus: Think he bought it?
Rufus: You think I'm a fool? I know what went on between the two of you. And it looks like it's still going.
Lily: Please. This is not the time.
Rufus: You're the one who invited him to Eric's eighteenth birthday party.
Russell: Actually I was just leaving.
Lily: You know, some men know how to behave appropriately at social events. Russell, I'm so sorry. I'll call you later.
Lily: I just got off the phone with Pete Holmberg. There was an emergency meeting of the Bass board. I'm being accused of an ethics violation and conflict-of-interest.
Rufus: Stand up for yourself. Don't let Thorpe get away with that.
Lily: It wasn't Thorpe, it was Charles.
Eric: I thought Damien got me. You know, we could just hang out together and do nothing. He was there for me.
Rufus: That kind of a guy always is.
Dan: You heard what happened? Are you seriously mad at me now?
Rufus: Well I can't say I'm entirely pleased.
Dan: You put Max Cady in my living room. What was I supposed to do?
Dan: Are you seriously letting Serena's stalker move in here?
Rufus: I told you last week this was a possibility.
Dan: I didn't think you'd actually do it. Especially without talking to me first.
Well that's the grand tour. Bedroom's in the back, kitchen's in the front. Nineties rock relics everywhere.
Rufus: You said you were going to help find Ben an apartment, not pay him to disappear.
Eric: Mom paid someone off again. Well we should make this a drinking game.
Lily: Ben Donovan has information that can ruin this family. What's wrong with not wanting him around?
