We'll be celebrating Bangsgiving!

Winston, you go to the driving range just to watch?

Oh my god! Will you not stop till the whole world is arosed?

Jess: Are you insane, Schmidt? I'm not ready. That's like taking a musical from rehearsal straight to Broadway. You gotta workshop it first!
Schmidt: If you are for one second suggesting that I don't know how to open a musical, how dare you!

The point of dating is just... to keep on dating and then never stop—like burning fossil fuels or seeing a therapist.

Do you just walk around all day thinking about other people's feelings? How do you get anything done?

Over the next 1,000 minutes, your notions of dating will be challenged. ... If you're saying things like 'Dreamy Eyes' to my face, then we have more work to do than the Kings of Leon. Good band, but it feels like they are stuck in one place musically.

If pot were a piano, Nick would be a 9-year-old Chinese girl.

Now, I'm gonna go do a deep-ass mouthwash.

Where did all that hair come from? You're a lioness!

I am rugged, semtic prince!

We are all five hooking up tonight, including the gimp!

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.


My whole life is you.