Serena van der Woodsen Quotes
Serena: B, you okay? You seem different.
Blair: I'm doing a cleanse.
Serena: Did anyone else see Vanessa or am I having ether flashbacks?
Eric: It's probably the latter. Although I did notice Blair wearing two different shoes.
Lily: I'm relieved you're not going to overdose. But you should have come to me with this.
Eric: I just, I didn't want to worry you. I wanted to fix my mistake.
Lily: The only mistake was mine. When I forged Serena's signature.
Serena: Wow. That's the first time you've admitted it was wrong.
Lily: Well it seemed right at the time, but I know it wasn't. And as much as I appreciate you both trying to protect me, I can't allow anyone else to pay for what I did.
Dan: I know you only admitted you needed me so you could make me your drug mule.
Blair: That sticky note was meant for Penelope. Frankly with her attitude she could use some time behind bars.
Dan: So that's it? There's no "I'm sorry I could have gotten you arrested."?
Blair: Well, you're here. The party's lovely. Everything obviously turned out fine.
Serena: Except that you sent Dan to get the wrong flowers. The tulips with the coke were pink.
Blair: And I wrote that down. This one's on you, Humphrey.
Dan: You wrote purple. Classic Stroop Effect.
Blair: Where you write or say a color that you see instead of the one you mean. You're not the only one who knows his neurodysfunction.
Serena: These are purple.
Eric: Ugh. And... planty.
Serena: Blair, we need your help with a scheme.
Dan: She can't.
Blair: Ah— I can! New paragraph. "The Nude Maja began Goya's separation from religious iconography—"
Serena: What are you doing here?
Dan: I'm leaving. This just went from Woman on the Verge to Saw II. I don't really like gore porn really.
Ben: You can't risk anyone else's future to protect hers. The right thing to do here is nothing. Then the worst that happens is Lily pays for what she did. At least no one else will.
Serena: Ben, she's my mother.
Eric: I know that they were just trying to help, but Dan and Nate actually made things worse when they went to see Damien's father.
Ben: How exactly?
Eric: Damien's got his big coke shipment coming in today from Europe. It's arriving at the flower market in the fertilizer packs of a hundred pink tulips. And since his dad has people watching his every move, he's making me be his drug mule.
Serena: What? Why would you do that? What does he have on you?
Eric: On me, nothing. But he knows that mom forged the affidavit about Ben.
Serena: Okay, I try not to meddle in Dorota's duties, but don't you think you're taking it a bit too far?
Blair: Marie Antoinette, Scarlett O'Hara. I'm going to be following in the footsteps of other powerful women who did not have the time to zip.
Serena: Or maybe you're just delusional from lack of sleep. Your light hasn't been off for nights.
Blair: Great leaders only need three hours. Mine just happen to be non-consecutive.
Serena: I should get going too. I agreed to a détente with my mom so I could help plan Eric's eighteenth birthday party. And I can't show up in yesterday's clothes.
Ben: Well, tell him I say congratulations, and to be careful now that he's old enough to be tried as an adult.
Serena: Actually I was hoping maybe you could come to the party and tell him yourself?
Ben: I'm not going to your mother's, Serena. I'm not eating her food or drinking her wine or smiling and pretending that everything's okay.
Serena: Sorry if we kept you up last night. We were playing Scrabble.
Ben: She fell asleep to avoid losing.
Dan: Since when do you enjoy Scrabble?
Ben: Thanks for coming. I should have told you I was waitering. I should have owned it.
Serena: Well I should have given you a chance and not put words in your mouth.
