Lindsay: They teach self-expression and getting in touch with feelings, Michael. I mean, I know you don't have any.
Gob: The boy who couldn't cry.
Buster: He's a robot! (Buster's prosthetic hand falls off)
Lindsay: Michael can cry. He just doesn't want to rust.
Tobias: Yes, he's like the steel man from The Wizard From Oz.

Tobias: You know, Michael, if I may take off my acting pants for a moment and pull my analrapist stocking over my head, George Michael has been acting strange lately. I think he may have developed what we in the soft sciences refer to obsessive-compulsive disorder. Or the O.C. disorder.
Michael: Don't call it that.

Michael: My son expresses himself just fine. Isn't that right, son?
George Michael: What? Yeah ... fine. Uh, yes, I don't care. What's up?
Tobias: Yes, he's a regular Freddie Wilson, that one.
Michael: I don't know that reference.
Lindsay: I don't either.
Tobias: I don't know either.
Narrator: It's this guy. (an image of men dressed like the Village People is shown, with the "biker" highlighted)

Lindsay: Did you get a lawyer?
Tobias: Only the best-looking and best educated lawyer in the whole O.C.
Bob: Don't call it that.

Bob Loblaw: As you know, it is very difficult to establish fault in a divorce, but one indicator is fidelity. Now, my client has not pursued sex outside of this marriage.
Tobias: Nor in it.
Bob Loblaw: I got this one.

Bob: Actually, I was going to stay in my office tonight and work on my law blog.
Tobias: Of course ... the "Bob Loblaw Law Blog." Wow. You, sir, are a mouthful!

I'm afraid I'm with Michael on this. The guy runs a prison. He can have any piece of ass he wants.

Tobias: Oh, come on. Don't leave your Uncle T-Bag hanging!
George Michael: Please don't call yourself that.

Michael: It does seem like you've been having a lot of trouble since the hair transplants. Maybe you should see a buboman.
Tobias: A ... buboman?
Michael: A doctor. It's a British expression, like they say "go up box" instead of "elevator".
Tobias: Oh, yes. Like when they say "poofter" to mean "tourist".

Tobias: I barely even know you! Who's Frank?
Frank: Well, I've been wanting to talk to you about that, but it's a little awkward.
Tobias: Oh, well, I've been wanting to have my own awkward talk as well.
Frank: I think we could be more than just gym buddies.
Tobias: You're blowing my mind, Frank.

I will be a bigger and hairier mole than the one on your inner left thigh!

Michael: I was at the property the Japanese funded today. The whole backside has moles.
Tobias: That's Frank's problem, too.

Arrested Development Quotes

Okay, we are just about ass-to-ankles back here, Maeby. Do you want to hop on your cousin's lap there, please?

Tobias

(holding stuffed animals) These are my awards, Mother. From Army. The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing. Now if you'll excuse me, they're putting me in something called Hero Squad.

Buster