Tobias Funke Quotes
(while looking at a gift intended for Sally) That is quite a basket you've got there, Michael.
Even if I have to take a chubby, I'm willing to suck it up!
Tobias: No, I can't... I have an audition tomorrow. I'm up for a minor, but meaty role in a feature film: Confidence Man 2.
Gob: Oh yeah? I didn't see the first Confidence Man.
Tobias: No... 'Confidence Man 2' is my character.
(underneath Lucille's car) Hey, it's Tobias...who wants to take me to the hospital?
Lindsay: What happened to you?
Tobias: (with a bandage wrap on his head) What? Oh, oh! My ears. The doctor said I can't go to sleep for five hours, or I might die or something. (to George Michael) Oh! I got blown! So, I can't sleep!
Maeby: That's got to bother you, huh Dad? I mean, she's flirting right in front of you.
Tobias: Hmm? Oh, no. I am surprised though that she's going after somebody so similar to my own type. But I suppose we all do expose our inner desires, don't we?
Maeby: I think you just did.
Tobias: No I didn't.
(referring to Michael's lack of emotion over George Sr.'s 'death') Here he comes. Here comes John Wayne. "I'm not going to cry about my Pa. I'm going to build an airport... Put my name on it." Why, Michael? So you can fly away from your feelings?
Gob: Show tonight?
Tobias: Well, I won't know officially until 8:01. But I figured if I Blue myself early, I'd be nice and relaxed for a 9:00 dinner reservation.
You know, first of all, we are doing this for her, okay, because neither one of us wants to get divorced. And second-of-ly, I know you're the big marriage expert. Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot. Your wife is dead! (short pause) I'm sorry. That was 100% inappropriate, and I do apologize profusely. I'm ... oh.
I figured if I blue myself early I'd be nice and relaxed for a nine o'clock dinner reservation.
Lindsay: What are you doing? That's not my father!
Ice: According to my photograph, it is. (holds up blue-print of George Sr. face)
Tobias: (painted blue) It's an honest mistake...also, I think your knee is on my heart.
Hey...who wants to go to the hospital?
