Tony Soprano Quotes
Dr. Melfi: What's the one thing every woman - your mother, your wife, your daughter - have in common?
Tony: They all break my balls. No, I know what you mean. They're all Italian. So what?
Dr. Melfi: So maybe by coming clean with me you're dialoguing with them.
Carm, you're not just in my life. You are my life.
Junior: I always thought you could make the pros. You could have done it. You had a swing like Joe D.
Tony: You're crazy.
Junior: What? You think I'm fucking you?
Tony: Yeah, I could barely hit .250.
Junior: That's because you didn't want it. Too busy chasing skirt. Chasing skirt, your average was .500.
(to Junior) Remember the story you told me about the father bull talking to the son. They're up on this hill and looking down on a bunch of cows. And the son goes to the father, "Dad, why don't we run down there and fuck one of these cows?" Now do you remember what the father said? Father says, "Son, why don't we walk down there and fuck them all?"
Dr. Melfi: When's the last time you had a prostate exam?
Tony: Hey, I don't even let anyone wag their finger in my face.
Maybe being a rebel in my family would have been selling patio furniture on Route 22.
(to Carmela) What did you guys do for twelve hours; play Name That Pope?
(to Meadow) What do you study in India? How not to get diarrhea?
Meadow: Socially, I don't know. This one girl told me there's this saying, "Bates is the world's most expensive form of contraception."
Tony: Hey, what kind of talk is that? You mean the girls at the other colleges we've been to, they just put out?
There is no Mafia.
One thing about us wiseguys, the hustle never ends.
I'm in a waste management business. Everyone immediately assumes you've mobbed up. It's a stereotype, and it's offensive.
