Tony Soprano Quotes
(on the assassination attempt) You know when I was depressed I said I didn't want to live? Well I'll tell you something - I didn't want to die. Every fucking particle of my being was fighting to live.
I'm like King Midas in reverse, here. Everything I touch turns to shit.
(to Isabella) Hey, if my dentist looked like you, I'd stay awake during a root canal.
Tony: So, your father tells me you're taking up astronomy in college.
Kevin: No, business.
Tony: Well how come he keeps sayin' you're takin' up space in school?
Meadow: I don't think sex should be a punishable offense.
Tony: You know honey, that's where I agree with you. I don't think sex should be a punishable offense either. But I do think talking about sex at the breakfast table is a punishable offense. So no more sex talk, okay.
Meadow: It's the 90s. Parents are supposed to discuss sex with their children.
Tony: Yeah, but that's where you're wrong. You see out there it's the 1990s but in this house it's 1954. 1990s. 1954. So now and forever I don't want to hear any more sex talk.
Tony: Listen I want you to keep your eye on Pussy. There's something wrong with him. He's not himself.
Christopher: You're tellin' me. You know he hasn't even done his rounds in a week. He's startin' to look like an easy mark.
Paulie: I told him, someone owes you money, even if you gotta crawl, you get it.
(joking with Big Pussy about his son) He's a good lookin' kid. Are you sure he's yours?
Tony: (about Vin) What did he come here for, therapy?
Debbie: You could say that.
Tony: Instead of a couch you use a bed. It's not a bad idea.
Debbie: Hey, who wouldn't want to sleep with their shrink?
Tony: What does that mean?
Debbie: You'd be amazed how much easier it is to open up, when you're naked and in the arms of some who cares for you.
Carmela: What if something should happen?
Tony: You dig out my blue suit, you call up old man Coletti, and tell him not to put too much makeup on my face.
(on Junior) He's a bushman of the Kalahari.
Carmela: Look at you at girls soccer, Tony.
Tony: What do you want from me? My only son's a couch potato.
Dr. Melfi: Small cutting is the clinical term.
Tony: What's large cutting, O.J. and the missing track suit?
