Popular Zapp Brannigan Quotes
Zapp Brannigan: What troubles you, Leela? Whatever it is, I'm willing to send wave after wave of my own men to aid you. Isn't that right, men?
(silence in the crew filled dining hall...)
Rogue voice: You suck!
Zapp Brannigan: Captain's journal; Star date... uh...
Kif: April 13th.
Zapp Brannigan: April 13th... point two. We have failed to uphold Brannigan's Law. However, I did make it with a hot alien babe. And in the end, is that not what man has dreamt of since first he looked up at the stars?... Kif, I'm asking you a question!
Leela: I would never abandon a helpless animal. Y'know, Zapp, once I thought you were a big, pompous buffoon. Then I realised that inside you were just a pitiful child. But now I realise that outside that child is a big, pompous buffoon!
Zapp Brannigan: And which one rocked your world?
That's the law, Leela. And Brannigan's Law is like Brannigan's love; hard and fast!
Zapp Brannigan: So, crawling back to the Big Z like a bird on its belly. Delicious.
Leela: Birds don't crawl.
Zapp Brannigan: They've been known to.
Kif, I have made it with a woman. Inform the men.
Leela: Look, I'm going down to Vergon 6 to save those animals whether you like it or not.
Zapp Brannigan: Go ahead. I won't stop you.
Leela: Threaten all you-- Wait. What?
Zapp Brannigan: We both know you won't make it halfway to Vergon 6 before the craving sets in. Then you'll come crawling back for another taste of sweet, sweet candy... bam!
Leela: Zapp, last night was a mistake.
Zapp Brannigan: A sexy mistake.
Leela: No, just a regular mistake. For a split second my common sense was overwhelmed by pity.
Zapp Brannigan: A split second is all it takes. That's why sooner or later you'll come crawling back to the Zapper.
Leela: The only kind of crawling I'm doing to you is away... from!
Zapp Brannigan: Leela, you're obviously confused and aroused.
Now you're officially my woman. Kudos! I can't say I don't envy you.
Zapp Brannigan: Welcome to my humble chamber, or as I call it, "the Lovenasium". Sham-pag-in?
Leela: I didn't realise you were such a coin-a-sewer.
Zapp Brannigan: Well, I have studied abroad. Or two!
Zapp Brannigan: Kif, you're my best and most loyal friend but you've earned my contempt once again. As my protg you should know that the only way to deal with a female adversary is to seduce her. This time we are sure she's a woman, right?
Kif: Yes.
Zapp Brannigan: Good! Invite her to my quarters. Oh, and have the boy lay out my formal shorts.
Kif: "The boy", sir?
Zapp Brannigan: You. You lay out my formal shorts.
Has my reputation preceded me or was I too quick for it?
