Elliot: Mr. Barns has been admitted for substance abuse three times in the past year.
J.D.: Yeah, but he said he quit.
Dr. Cox: Oh, the addict said he quit? Why wouldn't you tell me something like that, 'cause, don't you see, that changes everything.
J.D.: I believe in Mr. Barns.
Dr. Cox: Look it newbie. Just because you have a new girlfriend doesn't meant that the world has suddenly turned into a giant green M&M. The Red Sox still suck, they do. Barbie here still can't decide what to do with those annoying bangs, and addicts everywhere will still lie, cheat and steal just to get a fix. Now you've got to wake up sweetheart! You're gonna be late for school! Aww you wet the bed! Why can't I have a normal child without these problems


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Characters:
J.D., Elliot Reid, Perry Cox
Episode:
Scrubs Season 1 Episode 14: "My Drug Buddy"
Show:
Scrubs
Related Quotes:
J.D. Quotes, Elliot Reid Quotes, Perry Cox Quotes, Scrubs Season 1 Episode 14 Quotes, Scrubs Quotes
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Scrubs Season 1 Episode 14 Quotes

J.D.: You remember, like, when the new 'Star Wars' movie came out, and it was all built up, and then people went to see it and it really wasn't that great in bed?
Alex: Relax! The first one's a freebie, so you can get your form back

J.D.: All right, I should've done this a long time ago; so, here goes: I'm sorry. I shouldn't accuse you of being jealous, you were just looking out for me, and...you were right about Alex.
Elliot: You never did sleep with her, did you?
J.D.: No... But, why does that matter?
Elliot: Because I was jealous