One trick is to tell 'em stories that don't go anywhere, like th...

One trick is to tell 'em stories that don't go anywhere, like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Give me five bees for a quarter," you'd say. Now, where were we? Oh yeah, the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones..

Grampa

Rating: 4.2 / 5.0 (5 Votes)
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Character:
Grampa Simpson
Episode:
The Simpsons Season 4 Episode 17: "Last Exit to Springfield"
Show:
The Simpsons
Related Quotes:
Grampa Simpson Quotes, The Simpsons Season 4 Episode 17 Quotes, The Simpsons Quotes
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The Simpsons Season 4 Episode 17 Quotes

Boy: You can't treat the working man this way. One day we'll form a union and get the fair and equittable treatment we deserve. Then we'll go too far, and get corrupt and shiftless and the Japanese will eat us alive!
Mr. Burns' Grandfather: The Japanese!? Those sandal-wearing goldfish tenders? Bosh! Flimshaw!
Years Later
Mr. Burns: If only we'd listened to that boy, instead of walling him up in the abandoned coke oven.

Kent Brockman: Tonight on Smartline, the power plant strike, Arglebargle or Fufferella. With us tonight our plant owner C.M. Burns, Union Kingpin Homer Simpson, and talk show mainstay Dr. Joyce Brothers.
Dr. Joyce: I brought my own mic!

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