I will only have one, when I get a tummy, ladies call me Budha a rub me for luck.


What are you in the league of extraordinarily pretentious gentlemen?


Steampunk! I remember that fad, it lasted for about 10 minutes back in two-thousand-and-are you kidding me?


Max: Wait, you've never kissed her?
Oleg: Not on the lips of her face. But that day will come.

Caroline: Sometime you do something you're not comfortable with. It's how you grow.
Max: No, it's how you get a ride home from a kegger in the woods.

Caroline: See success!
Max: Scaring people into participating is not success, it's Scientology.

Dutch Girl: We put the fun in Funnel, you can spell funnel without "fun"
Caroline: Or F. U.

Catherine: You can't spell focus without "us".
Max: Or F. U.

Earl: Hello Sophie, if you looked any sweeter, you would fire up my diabetes.
Sophie: Oh Earl, you wouldn't be the first man to lose a limb over me.

Han: Hey everybody, I got it!
Oleg: Don't worry, at least you caught it in the early stages.

Caroline: How did ketchup get this hard?
Max: You just hold it in your hand like this and say, "You're the best ketchup I've ever had."

Caroline: I can't believe you're putting your financial future into the hands of a hipster tax place called "The Tax of Life".
Max: You know how the old proverb goes. "You take the good, you take the bad. You take what's left, and there you have the tax of life."

2 Broke Girls Quotes

You think this (clicking the fingers) is the sound that gets you service, I think that´s the sound that dries up my vagina.


Hey, when you get a second, stop staring at my boobs.