Ray: Good morning, this is Captian Ray Gillette welcoming you aboard from the flight deck. Flight time to Branson is about 3 hours--
Archer: No it isn't!
Ray: Shut up, and in the meantime..

• Permalink: Shut up, and in the meantime..
• Rating: Unrated

Cheryl: See what? What's Area 51?
Pam: What's Area--, are you shitting me? Everybody knows about Area 51.
Archer: Yeah, even me, and I didn't know they made shoes out of cornbread.

• Permalink: Yeah, even me, and I didn't know they made shoes out of cornbread
• Rating: Unrated

Archer: I'm serious, just radio Lieutenant Colonel. He can straighten this whole thing out.
Military Commander: Lieutenant Colonel who?
Archer: This is embarrassing but I thought his last name was colonel.

• Permalink: I thought his last name was colonel.
• Rating: Unrated

What is this Myrtle Beach? (pauses) Ray, is this Myrtle Beach?

Cheryl

• Permalink: What is this Myrtle Beach? Ray, is this Myrtle Beach?
• Rating: Unrated

Pam: Can we talk for a second?
Cyril: Is that before Krieger sexually assaulted a 220 outlet. (group laughs)

• Permalink: Is that before Krieger sexually assaulted a 220 outlet
• Rating: Unrated

Lana: Daddy, tell us about your research.
Lem Kane: Well, algae is always challenging.
Archer: Yeah, just ask a flip-flop.

• Permalink: Just ask a flip-flop
• Rating: Unrated

Archer: Can I call you Lem?
Lem Kane: Of course you may, absolutely. But it's actually pronounced Dr. Kane.

• Permalink: Can I call you Mr. Kane?
• Rating: Unrated

Cheryl: Oh please, you invented racism? Also, you're just a reconstructed light field produced by firing a razor through a beam splitter..
Krieger's artificial girlfriend: Waaaww!
Pam: Yeah dude, not cool..

• Permalink: you're just a reconstructed light field
• Rating: Unrated

Archer: Who gets into a hot tub naked with a stranger?
Lana: Because everybody? Because Berkley?!
Archer: How doese a whole city get a pass from acceptable behavior!

• Permalink: How doese a whole city get a pass from acceptable behavior!
• Rating: Unrated

Lana's mom: What is it you're studying?
Archer: Um..Medeival-Slavic History
Lem Kane: Really? That must be fascinating
Archer: Well, everyone thinks that but---
Lem Kane: So tell me what are your thoughts on the Battle of Kosovo 1389
Archer: Um, no opinion (squirming his way through the answer)
Lem Kane: Not even as it relates to the rise of Serbian nationalism?
Archer: Um, nope? Also, that's a bit reductionist

• Permalink: Um, nope? Also, that's a bit reductionist
• Rating: Unrated

Lem Kane: That's why I had to keep my secret. Can you imagine what that would mean to big oil or OPEC?
Archer: Well, there's no need to be racist.
Lana: How is the acronym for the organization of pertoleum exporting countries racist?
Archer: Oh, that's what it means?

• Permalink: OPEC
• Rating: Unrated

I am pushing. Swearzy realzies

Cheryl

• Permalink: I am pushing. Swearzy realzies
• Rating: Unrated