Archer
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FXPopular Archer Quotes
ISIS Agent: No.
Pam: Yes!
ISIS Agent: No.
Pam: Have sex with me!
ISIS Agent: No.
Pam: Please?
ISIS Agent: No!
Pam: Gesturing with the dolphin hand-puppet towards his crotch
Aww, come on..
ISIS Agent: Pam...
Pam: Still in the dolphin voice
Nobody will ever know....
ISIS Agent: Yeah... I'd know.
Krenshaw: Jesus, Archer, you think this is a game?
Archer: No, I think Jenga's a game.
Videotex? Wow, growth industry.
Cyril: I will start cooking the books.
Lana: Good thing you know how to cheat.
Lana: Gestad? Count me in!
Archer: And me out. I'm not getting frost bite protecting some old German guy.
Malory: Herr Schlotz isn't the intended victim. It's his daughter Anka.
Archer: Who obviously needs someone on her. Constantly. I will that someone who's constantly on her.
Archer: She doesn't look like she's just turning 17.
Lana: No, she looks like she's just turning 18.
Archer: Exactly. Plus Europeans use the metric system...
Anka: I'm from Germany, where the age of consent is 14.
Archer: What is it, the Alabama of Europe?
So does this look as bad as it looks?
Archer: I forgot you won the Olympic gold medal in men's downhill.
Gillette: Well, ass, it was giant shalom and I only took bronze.
Archer: So? You lost?
Gillette: I came in third.
Archer: Which is last.
Gillette: Which is third...
Archer: Last.
Gillette: In he world.
Archer: You lost. Geeze, get over it.
I can't be alone. That's when she strikes like a slutty little Ninja.
I'm sure I've been in worse situations... but right now I'm kind of drawing a blank.
It's like my brain's a tree and you're those little cookie elves.
