Bored to Death Quotes
They say the pen is mightier than the sword.
Jonathan
(hearing word of a boxing match) What about me? I wanna fight!
Ray
I'm having a baby and the mother of my child hates me.
Ray
I can't believe I shot thirty blanks - I'm a sterile loser.
Ray
Your sperm is my sperm.
Suzanne
(realizing that they got caught breaking and entering by some Rabbi's) Hey - it's okay! I'm Jewish!
Jonathan
The only thing that I found in the kitchen is an unopened bottle of kombucha tea..why would they leave this? This stuff is great and so expensive!
Jonathan
She liked me! And my pot.
Jonathan
When I get high I realize that I clench my anus.
Ray
I like a man who carries a one-hitter.
Girl at the store
No thank you, I'm still stoned - that was really good pot.
George
She's gonna face the music, and I'm gonna play it.
Jonathan
