Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Thursdays 8:00 PM on NBCBrooklyn Nine-Nine Quotes
Her mind finally snapped, like a stale breadstick.
Gina
Jake: You got it. You're my friend and I won't let you down. I'm gonna push you up, just like a bra.
Rosa: What?
Jake: Nah, I meant brassiere, which is totally different!
Rosa: Come on man.
Jake: Not better... Here we go!
Boyle: Here we go!
Amy: I've been waiting to hear you say that all day long...
Jake: I know.
Amy: Which is why you shouldn't say it.
Jake: What?
Amy: You're still trying to make people happy. Don't apologize to me. Be a leader and tell me what you need me to do. Tell everyone what you need them to do. You're the Captain, Jake.
Jake: I'm the Captain now... Captain Phillips!
Amy: Captain Phillips!
Jake: That's what it was! Look at me!
Jake: I know you're too proud to say "I told you so" so I'm just gonna...
Amy: Told you so! Not too proud.
Jake: Yeah... Seems right.
I made number 2. I hear it. Why would I say that?!
Boyle
Jake: I'm as serious as a heart attack. No offense Scully.
Scully: Eh! Mine are never that serious. I call them "oopsies."
I'm the king of respectfulness, bitches!
Jake
I guess it's officially over. It was slightly less gross than expected. Way to be.
Gina
Not to overstate, but I'm definitely going to die alone and work is all I have.
Jake
Capt. Holt: Because you're royally screwing up!
Amy: Oh no! This isn't a pow wow. It's a haraunging!
Capt. Holt: It is! Stop trying to tank this election. You know damn well, you'd make a great Union Rep!
Sophia: I can't believe I had sex with a cop. It's like I had sex with Hans Gruber.
Jake: You're the Gruber!
(courtroom stares)
Jake: Die Hard
Terry: You slept with a defense attorney! You literally had sex with the enemy!
Jake: I know! It's like if John McClane had sex with Hans Gruber or WORSE Jeremy Irons from the third one!
