Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXFamily Guy Season 11 Episode 10: "Brian's Play" Quotes
Brian: I just wish I could have had five years to be good.
Stewie: There's your voice, Brian. It's a depressing voice, but it's yours. Write from that.
Brian: Wow, this is amazing, every major playwright is here.
Stewie: Yes, and it seems to be quite the successful party. Several of them have already committed suicide.
Brian: Stewie, don't you think you're overdoing it with that outfit?
Stewie: I don't wear anything I can't take off with a flourish.
May every person that laughs at your sophmoric effort be a reminder of your eternal mediocrity and pierce your heart like a knife!
Stewie
I knew my play was good, just like I knew your play was a mediocre patchwork of hackneyed ideas and tired cliches! You have no idea how hard it was to sit in that theater with those braying hyenas! Couldn't you tell something was up when Chris and the fat man could follow the plot?!
Stewie
Hey, can you read that page with all the little paragraphs about dead people? They're hilarious.
Peter
Do you know who I am? I'm Tom Tucker, dammit! I make more in an hour than you make in two hours!
Tom Tucker
Hey Brian, can you believe I found this blazer on the side of the highway?
Peter
Quagmire: Hey guys, this is my date Consuela.
Consuela: No, no, no.
Quagmire: Okay, we're here as friends, but I'm gonna change your mind one day.
Lois: Remember kids, if it's terrible, at the end we all say "You did it!"
Stewie: I can't believe we're going to the theater the same day Chris drowned a mouse in a puddle. I mean, don't we need a day to clear our heads?
